Love on hold, until mobile money drops
Today, love often waits for a mobile money notification.
What you need to know:
- These days, romance often begins, or ends, with a mobile money alert
In today’s Uganda, love no longer blooms under a mango tree or unfolds in late-night whispered phone calls. These days, romance often begins, or ends, with a mobile money alert. The familiar "Please call me" has been replaced by a more transactional message: "You have received Shs20,000 from..." For many, affection now arrives alongside a financial notification.
From towns to trading centres, mobile money is not just powering small businesses, it is reshaping how Ugandans flirt, date, commit, and even break up. Take the young woman who will not leave home without “transport,” or the man who sends money only to be ghosted. The digital wallet has become a new stage for emotional exchange and emotional warfare.
Gone are the days of roses, handwritten letters, and long phone calls. Today, love often waits for a mobile money notification. In a world where money can move across towns in seconds, romance has found a new battleground; our inboxes.
The new love language
Love languages used to be about words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of kindness, or physical touch. But for many, especially women, that script has changed.
“For me, if a man likes me, he should show it through action. That means airtime and transport,” says Brenda Asiimwe, a 24-year-old boutique attendant in Kireka. “Even before we meet, he should send something. If he delays, I know he is not serious.”
Brenda’s mindset is not unique. Across the country, sending “transport” money has become a modern litmus test for romantic interest, almost like an entry fee into a woman’s heart. For many women, it is seen as a sign of commitment. For men, it is often the first step in trying to impress.
But it does not always go as planned. Robert Ssenabulya, a boda boda rider in Mukono, recalls last Valentine’s Day when he sent Shs50,000 to a woman he had only met once. They had made plans to meet in Kampala City Centre for the day, and she confirmed receipt of the money, but never showed up.
“I called her. She did not pick. Later, she said her aunt was sick and she had to rush to the hospital,” he says. “I asked her to refund the money. She blocked me.”
For Ssenabulya, the loss was not just financial, it was emotional. “I thought we were building something. But maybe to her, it was just a hustle.”
Cupid or con?
What may start as small gestures (Shs5,000 for airtime, or Shs10,000 for lunch) can spiral into something more complicated. Lovers are increasingly turning into lenders, with mobile transfers becoming emergency bailouts for rent, school fees or even loan apps.
“There is this girl I was dating,” says George Kaboggoza, an accountant. “Every week, she had a new reason to ask for money; electricity, a sick relative, or topping up for a loan app. I helped at first, then realised she was asking other men too.”
When George confronted her, her response was blunt: “Why are you counting what you gave me? Was it a loan?”
Such stories are increasingly common. For some, mobile money makes supporting a partner easier. For others, it opens doors to emotional manipulation and financial exploitation.
You did not confirm
Another source of tension in today’s digital relationships? Unacknowledged transfers. In a society where many equate money with love, failing to say “thank you” after receiving mobile money can ignite suspicion and conflict.
“Imagine sending Shs50,000 to your girlfriend and she does not even call or text to confirm,” says Paul Ngobi, a university student. “You start wondering, did she get it? Is she with someone else? Has she moved on?”
On the flip side, women complain about men who send money late, reluctantly, or with guilt-tripping conditions. Some even demand proof of how the money was spent.
“I once dated a man who asked for a photo of the salon receipt after giving me Shs30,000,” laughs Sheila Mukisa, a fashion student at Makerere University. “That was not even enough to do the hair I wanted, it was just a top-up.”
Less emotional attachment
The rise of mobile money is not just changing how couples interact, it is redrawing boundaries around trust, gender roles, and emotional power.
In many relationships, the man is expected to play financier, while the woman becomes the silent accountant, measuring affection by the frequency and amount of transfers. In other cases, the roles flip, with women sending money or juggling multiple digital sponsors.
But no matter who sends what, a mobile wallet cannot teach empathy or emotional depth. A Shs50,000 transfer might feel like love to one partner, yet manipulation to the other.
“We are now dating through phones and mobile money,” says Susan Namagembe, a counselling psychologist in Kampala. “People no longer take the time to know each other. Money becomes a shortcut to connection, and when the money stops, so does the love.”
A new culture is emerging, where digital generosity often masks emotional distance. And many are learning, sometimes painfully, that financial support without emotional connection is a shaky foundation for love.
Financial burden?
But not all stories end in heartbreak. John and Esther Mugabe met in a church WhatsApp group in 2020. They began by exchanging devotional messages. One day, Esther sent John Shs40,000 to fuel his car for a job interview. Today, they are married.
“It was not about the money,” John says. “It was the intention behind it. She believed in me.”
Still, for every couple such as the Mugabes, there are dozens of others with stories of ghosting, heartbreak, or purely transactional dating.
What next?
With more than 30 million mobile money accounts in Uganda and cashless transactions becoming the norm, the lines between financial transactions and emotional connection are getting blurrier by the day.
As dating goes digital, the question for Uganda’s youth may not be whether to send money, but whether they can build something deeper than a transaction.
Because in the end, no matter how many mobile money alerts show up on your phone, they cannot replace genuine connection, mutual respect, and honest conversation.
