Marriage is a common good
The culture of making money, socialising or watching TV at the expense of intimacy hinders the sustenance and growth of marriage, writes Msgr John Wynand Katende
Peter could succeed at walking on water like his Master, only by trusting in the power of Jesus. But he later found himself sinking after trying out his own ability. This story applies to Christian living in general and to the vocations attached to it. Success stories of marriage imply more of a resort to an unflagging trust in the accompanying grace of God than on human formulae.
Having been prompted by religious leaders of His day regarding the dissolution of marriage, Jesus did not only rule out the entertainment of the idea, but also indicated the indispensability of God’s grace for married life (Matthew 19:1-10). Companionship of husband and wife, procreation and healing of the sexual appetite or erotic love are given as the properties that call for stability of marriage (Genesis 1:26).
Marriage is modelled according to the Trinitarian family, bound together by steadfast love. God’s love for his people (Israel and Church) is covenantal and steadfast. As such, it is more of a covenant than a mere legal contract between two parties (Ephesians 5). It was for the purpose of redeeming marriage from sin to the covenant level that Jesus was born and brought up in the family of Joseph and Mary. The miracle at the wedding feast in Cana gives the same message.
Being of such a sublime value, God could not have left the regulating of the institution of marriage to the manipulative weaknesses of humans. He deplores the legalisation of divorce by Moses, by King Henry VIII of England in1533 or by the modern state, as a rebellion against God.
Divorce, for whatever reason it is introduced, inevitably becomes easier to obtain and gradually comes to be accepted as a normal part of life. The failure of couples to sustain marriage cannot be addressed by the wrong of divorce. Advocates of divorce weaken marriage and family life, to the detriment of society. Many street children are born of broken marriages.
The divorce mentality engenders a relativistic and compromising approach to lasting values. Entering marriage with a divorce mentality renders the covenant null and void, in which case the consent has been impaired. The church also allows couples to separate in case of continued grave incompatibility, but the bond persists until the death of a partner.
Christian marriage is an ideal, rooted and nurtured in selfless love, patience, forgiveness and mutual respect. Intending couples need to earnestly prepare themselves and also learn to believe in the spiritual power God gives for the strengthening of their union.
Marriage is a common and not a personal good. Church and state need to guard against schemes and messages that tend to destroy it by adhering to original God’s plan and cooperating with his grace.
