My husband of five years pushed me to start my business and I got compliments from many people saying how lucky I was to have a supportive husband. But now that my business has picked up and I am invited to a number of events to network, he gets very upset. He tells me I do not have time for him or our daughter and I am neglecting my domestic duties. I am confused about how to handle this. Anonymous
Thank you for asking. It is understandable you are confused about how to handle such a situation. It can be difficult finding the balance between running a business and maintaining a strong relationship with your spouse. While it is great that your husband is supportive, it sounds like he may be feeling left out now that your business is picking up. It might be possible that without any bad intentions, the business is now more demanding and taking more of your time.
Every relationship is different and it is important for both partners to communicate their needs and concerns to each other. If your husband is feeling neglected because you are giving more time the business, talk to him. It may be necessary for you to set some boundaries and make sure that you make time each day to spend with your husband and daughter
Find a suitable time and sit down with him and have a conversation about how you can both support each other in your individual pursuits. Suggest scheduling regular check-ins to ensure that he still feels valued and connected to you. Always ensure you spare some time every day, even if it just a few hours a day and use it to engage in different activities with your husband and daughter.
You can also try to involve him in your business as much as possible, whether that means asking for his advice or going with him for events. By working together, you can help ensure that your husband feels included and valued in your life, which will make him less likely to feel resentment towards your business. This will help keep him from feeling alienated and will ensure that your family remains a priority.
It is essential to have a strong support system in order to succeed in business. However, it is also important to maintain balance in one’s personal and professional life. It is possible that your husband is still upset after discussing the situation and taking corrective measures, he may need some time to adjust. Be understanding, compassionate and patient as he adjusts to this new change and focus on nurturing the bond with him and your daughter along with nurturing your business for lasting happiness.
If you or your husband are unable to process the thoughts, emotions, despair and confusion around the situation this new event has brought to your family, consider seeking professional counselling. Do not shy away from asking for help.
Evelyn Kharono Lufafa is a counselling psychologist with Sermotherapy Counselling Foundation