No labels, no drama

Thursday September 16 2021
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Labels is that they are not necessarily about making a relationship more committed, more serious, or exclusive. PHOTOS/COURTESY

By Bradford Kamuntu

"…a classifying phrase or name applied to a person or thing, especially one that is inaccurate or restrictive.”

That is the Google definition of a label. Already in its description it presents a negative, much like the people of this generation treat it today.

Normally, labels present a sense of definitive structure.

‘We are husband and wife’, ‘we are boyfriend and girlfriend’, ‘we are friends with benefits’, ‘we are a casual hook-up’.

These are just some of the ways in which we ordinarily describe a romantic partnership we are involved in.

Times have however, changed; the vast majority do not want to be pigeon holed.

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We are a liberated freer-of-thought generation, we do not want to be described as one thing or the other (as I am sure you have heard or read some people also prefer to be genderless) to just exist as a human being and nothing else, these new forms of existence have manifested and weaseled their way into how we conduct our relationships, especially those of a romantic and sexual nature.

People want to enjoy all the perks of a partnership without being tied down, hence the protest at being labelled or having conversations that may lead to a description as to what you and someone else may be.

Labels are all about being clear and honest with each other about how you are viewing the relationship, this poses an issue these days as this exactly what most people are trying to avoid.

A label establishes one’s desires, expectations and goals in a relationship.

Clear lines of communication

This can be as simple as discussing whether or not you are just friends, friends with romantic intentions to move forward, or in a committed dating relationship, or whether you are in a casual sexual “entanglement”.

It is quite wild how this has been spun and turned into something completely vile.

In my view, labels are there to establish clear lines of communication.

This is how you will protect each other’s feelings, avoid leading someone on and have a clear sense of what your intentions are going forward.

In my very opinion (this does not have to apply to each and every one of you) entering romantic dealings without a label only leaves room for contention sooner or later feelings are going to mix up whatever situation you may have going on.

Simply put, there are situations when a relationship without labels might make sense. Oftentimes, a person who says they “do not do labels” is using that as a way to say they do not want to be tied to certain relationship expectations or commitments that don’t currently appeal to them.

But what is important to understand about relationship labels is that they are not necessarily about making a relationship more committed, more serious, or exclusive.

They are instead there to set “operational” guidelines if you will.

We create words to capture and reflect the world around us.

Not talking about the terms of your relationship does not mean you don’t have one.

And if memory serves me correctly from situations of this nature that I have witnessed often end poorly with a victimised party and another claiming they clearly stated they did not want a label.


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