Not everyone who proposes is ready to be a husband

Thursday June 24 2021

Christine Nakalungi

By Christine Nakalungi

Marriage is not for everybody. I have learnt that with age. Much as we all wish and pray hard for it and the question, “will you marry me?” Might come up during your life but that does not necessarily mean that the person on a bended knee in front of you is able and willing to be the prince charming. Sadly, most of them know it even before walking down the aisle but choose to do it anyway.

To some men it is pressure from family and friends who keep attacking his ego that a non-married man in society is not respected. So, they do it just as many women wear that ring but deep down, they are single and available to other suitors.

Other people claim that church too has also played a part in raising wrong husbands. Since it is considered a sin to have intercourse without God giving you permission at the aisle, most people use this as an excuse to just marry so that they have a partner to share Adam and Eve’s apple with but, they themselves are not ready to submit as a married spouse.

This would have been a good thing but when these individuals realise that they are trapped, they turn into revenging agents to the person who they vowed to love and protect. Factually, the person you are mistreating did not drag you to the alter, you walked there willingly, so it is wrong to blame it on religion. God gave each person the power to make their own choice and if you used yours wrongly, it is time to deal with yourself other than shifting your blame onto the other person.

A husband goes beyond wearing a wedding band every day, he takes care of his wife and family, he is their strong hold in any shaking whether is it financial or emotional. The woman is expected to do the same too. But if one of the partners pushes responsibilities to only the other party, then surely, he or she does not deserve that ring and all the benefits that come with it.

Andrew packed his bags and went on a two weeks trip with his friends last month. Cynthia was only informed on the morning of their travel. When she told him that Junior their young son was sick and it would be selfish of him to go with his friends for fun and abandon them in a time of need, he became so verbally abuse, called her all names before he stormed out if the house.


Cynthia cried the entire evening until her sisters came over to help her stay with the other children as she took Junior to the hospital. The two weeks Andrew was away, he did not communicate to find out about their wellbeing. Cynthia only read his friends’ social media posts.

The night he came back, Cynthia’s sisters had taken the children with them to give them time to talk. First thing he did when he returned is take a shower and ask for dinner. He was so aggressive and even hit her. Cynthia drove off and left the house. When the elders were involved. Andrew plainly told them that he was not ready for marriage in the first place. “Then who forced you into the marriage?” He did not have an answer.

He was not ready for marriage and yet he wanted all the benefits that come with it. He is not the first man out there to impulsively propose marriage and run off on the wedding day. Let us not even talk about the one who already has mistresses before even the wedding.

Life is full of choices; it is selfish of you to impulsively make life decisions that would hurt another. No one will ever be denied entering the gates of heaven with a sole reason based on marriage status. So, my dear brothers and sisters, it would be respectful if you think about how the other person would be affected by your wrong decision.