What you need to know:
Everyone has their very first kiss, and everyone is nervous about it. However, there is no need to worry. There are plenty of tips to help make that first kiss wonderful, exciting and memorable for you and your partner.
When Google released the list of the most searched questions by Kenyans over the last 15 years, few would have expected romance to dominate. The search results, which were released in August 2021 showed that Kenyans online want to know ‘How to make love’ and ‘How to kiss’. This is not so farfetched. If you are going for a first date and there is a high chance of a kiss, you want it to be memorable.
The first step
Before you go for a first kiss, you need to have become physical to some extent. This includes holding hands or touching. According to psychologist Dr Chris Hart, this is how you will know that something is going on between the two of you. If this is your first date, taking a small walk while holding hands is one way to start getting physical.
According to Dr Jeremy Nicholson, a social and personality psychology researcher, a perfect kiss comprises various features, which include proper oral hygiene.
“You must brush your teeth appropriately, avoid consuming smelly food and use fresh breath mints. You must smell and taste good. This also requires you to keep your lips soft and nicely lubricated,” he says.
Who initiates a kiss?
It is commonly assumed that it is the man who goes for the kiss first. However, Dr Hart says it is the woman who decides if there is going to be a kiss or not. This means that the man will have to observe and interpret the subtle signs correctly.
“The signs you need to watch out for include soft smiles and glances, shy laughter, and fingers toying with her hair,” he says. The woman will then probably lick, bite or touch her lips, and then move closer while turning her face towards you,” he says.
The first kiss
When you have seen the signs, you will need to reciprocate immediately or risk ruining the moment and your chance of a first kiss.
“Try moving your face just a little towards hers. If she is not ready she will turn away. If she is nervous, she might back up a little, but she will still keep her face turned towards yours. While going through this, listen to your senses, intuition. This is because as you draw closer and look into each other’s eyes, you will instinctively get a strong romantic feeling that will draw you together,” he says.
In the moment of your first kiss, he recommends that you should allow your lips to linger a little bit.
There are some things you can do to spice up your kissing moment. Dr Nicholson says when you lean in for a closed-mouth kiss, you must bring on your touch as well. Gently hold your partner’s cheek. You can also softly brush their hair or embrace them but not too tightly as that can be pushy.
“Do not be too dominant. Allow your partner to partake in the kiss as well. They want to know what your style is just as much as you want to know theirs,” he says.
Mistake to avoid
The biggest mistake you can make here is to go full-blown into a French kiss. Do not stick your tongue out or rock their teeth.
“The first kiss is a major part of the woman’s decision-making. No matter how attracted she may be to you, her interest can end after that first kiss,” says Dr Hart.
He explains, the real purpose of a kiss is to check out chemicals on the lips and skin. “This helps partners know if their genes and immune system are compatible,” says Dr Hart. This is echoed by Dr Nicholson, who recommends that you should only kiss for a few moments but leave your partner wanting more. “After kissing, do not pull away. Continue to touch or cuddle or look into their eyes,” he says.
According to lovepanky.com, first kisses are not measured in seconds. They are measured in passionate moments. A perfect kiss is not just one kiss, it is a series of well-timed first kisses.
“Kiss your date for a few seconds, and move your head back slowly, but keep it within a few inches from your date’s face. It makes you feel more in control, and you will be able to read your date’s expression too,” the site states.
If your date backs away, wait. If they come closer and start kissing you again, they like what you are doing.
Move your face back just a little bit after several seconds, and come in for another kiss within a second or two. It shows that you want to kiss, so it will not leave your date wondering if you arenot interested in the kiss. By taking occasional breaks and coming in for a kiss again, you will be able to increase the passion and make your date want your kisses even more.
Consider your follow-up
According to askmen.com, now that you landed your first kiss, what next? Do not just sit there in silence like a shell-shocked teen who cannot believe his luck. The immediate aftermath of a first kiss is potentially awkward territory, and the best thing you can do to diffuse the moment is say something.
“I have been wanting to do that for ages” is a slightly cliche but a flattering line, or you could use the post-kiss lull to land a genuine compliment.
Whatever you do, keep the mood alive and avoid crashing into an anticlimax. That is all you need to do to make sure your first kiss is a great one.