So what seems to be the problem?


What you need to know:

  • Her last date with Tugume at the weekend ended the same way like the others before. She, returning to her empty house and three kittens, wondering if she will ever find her soulmate; someone she will truly love and go through life’s successes and challenges with.

Seanice is 38 years old. Or at least that is the age she keeps telling us although I suspect she might be older. Well-traveled and with all sorts of academic papers, Seanice could be any man’s, ideal woman. She is also beautiful and has those legs that seem to go on for days.

But, she is still ‘searching’ for the right man, she says.  And so, many men have come and gone. Moved on in fact and started families of their own as she waits for the one who will eventually sweep her off her feet.

Her last date with Tugume at the weekend ended the same way like the others before. She, returning to her empty house and three kittens, wondering if she will ever find her soulmate; someone she will truly love and go through life’s successes and challenges with.

Seated on her sofa, it was Tugume’s questions that ticked Seanice off. ‘What seems to be the problem?’ he had asked during their date. She had always known that this question will come up at some point but was not prepared for it. Although Paul, Junior, and Mustapha before Tugume had also asked her the same question, it hit a different note every time, bringing with it so many emotions.

She did not have the answer. She just does not know why they come and go, some not even making it to the second date.  But to many who know her, the one thing we have noticed is her low self-esteem. Self-esteem plays an important role in a variety of areas in life, which is why having low self-esteem can be problematic.

For many, the fear of being rejected is too overwhelming. Because of this, many avoid taking a chance in the dating arena for fear of being rejected which will in the end take a chunk of their already depleting self-esteem.

Research suggests that low self-esteem is linked to a number of mental health problems such as anxiety, substance abuse, and eating disorders. Unfortunately for Seanice, the number of rejections she has suffered has had such an impact that now she just does not want to hear anything to do with relationships.

 And so this is what she is supposed to do to get her life back on track before she makes 50 with nothing but 30 other cats as her only companions.

First and foremost, she must focus on the positives in her life. Yes, the men might keep disappearing as fast as comets but when she holds her head up high and know her self-worth, then she will attract the right man; the one who will recognise her strengths.

For every strong woman who has worked so hard to succeed but is currently unlucky when it comes to finding ‘the one’ just keep winning and the right person will come to you. That building project you recently undertook for example should remind you that even though Tugume never called you back, you are capable of doing one better.

So, again, what seems to be the problem? Only you can answer that question.

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