Sometimes in order to find love, we must take a break from the search

There is nothing wrong with wanting to find love, the desire for love and that happy ever after life story is completely natural. But, sometimes in order to find love, we need to take a break from the search and I feel like we do not have this discussion enough. We do not give this advice to each other enough.
The common misconception in society today is that being single is gloom-ridden; many family members forcing answers out of you as to why you are not married yet and friends pushing to set you up with someone. Quite frankly, I find society’s views on being single sad and pathetic. To think that you or anyone else is abnormal and needs a partner to function should be in the dictionary under the definition of idiocy.
I always encourage my friends, family (and sometimes even acquaintances) to seek time off after a break-up. Don’t hunt, don’t stay in communication with your ex and get sucked into some form of manipulation and don’t join dating apps. 
Instead, sit by yourself and take stock of your life. What made you unhappy in the relationship you just left? What don’t you want to encounter again in a partner? What are your toxic traits and what work do you need to do to eliminate them? Where are your scars? What needs to heal and how? Asking these questions means you don’t carry it into the next relationship. These are the things every single person needs to sit in solitude and contemplate after a relationship has met its demise.
I recently re-watched a movie I adore called Eat Pray Love, which stars Julia Roberts as Elizabeth “Liz” Gilbert and it’s based on a memoir by the same name about real life Elizabeth’s decisions. She made a decision most consider to be unconventional but I found brave. 
Liz was in a marriage she was unhappy in, they had grown apart, and they were not on the same page in regard to the direction of their lives, but like most people were pretending to be happy and pushing on. After prayer, Liz decided she did not want to be married anymore and pulled the plug on their partnership letting her husband know verbatim “I don’t want to be married anymore”.
Shortly after this, she made the mistake of jumping into another relationship before dealing with the weight she was carrying from its predecessor. Unable to cope in that one as well, she had to ask herself very tough questions in an effort to understand why she was so unhappy in a partnership. Drastically, she packed her belongings and went on a journey of self-discovery both literally and figuratively.
I will not go too deep into the film’s premise (although I do hope you find it and watch it if you have not, or read the book) but I feel like there was such an extraordinary lesson to be learned from that story. She had to strip herself of all the baggage that comes with commitment and attachment and put in the work on herself.
You are of no use to your partner and have no business in a relationship; if you are not fully self-aware, if you have not grasped and dealt with your insecurities, if you do not love yourself, and do not know what your triggers are, if you are not aware of and have not worked on habits that might cause contention.
 I could go on and on, the list is endless and sometimes it is permissible to work on them whilst already in a relationship but I have mentioned the core ones you need to have figured out prior.
Jumping in and out of relationships does not afford you the time to put this work in. You have got to take the initiative to ensure that you have yourself figured out and have taken the time to breathe before throwing yourself into the dating pool again.
It is also (and I cannot stress this enough) extremely crucial that you enjoy being single and all the liberties it comes with. This is time you can use to not only reconnect with your friends, your family any other duties and people that might have taken a back seat while you were in a relationship, let loose, process, listen to advice, watch movies, documentaries and interviews that might help make sense of the place you are in at the moment and how best you can pull yourself out of it.
You are never the person that “needs a partner”, that “has to get married”. Let us strip ourselves bare of those societal expectations. There is never a better time than when single to set new goals for yourself, step into the opportunity to understand yourself.
Getting out of a relationship is never easy, regardless of whether it was an amicable or contentious one. Use that time to sort out what your next steps will be.