What you need to know:
- It is best to wait until after you have talked to your crush so that you are not influenced by what anyone else might have provided to you in the way of advice.
Taking that first step and telling someone that you like them is about as scary as it gets, and those heart-thumping moments before you open yourself up can be enough to make you throw on your running shoes and flee.
Many of us shy away from telling the object of our affection how we feel about them as we are not sure how to go about it. We convince ourselves that they will figure it out of their own accord or that they are actually already fully aware but are just not interested. In the age of social media and internet dating, many of us are even more reluctant to be upfront about how we feel.
But unfortunately, this approach can often mean that amazing people pass us by, being snapped up by those who are willing to be honest about their feelings. I am sure one (or many) of us have seen the person we like walk out of our lives and right into a relationship all due to the fact that we could not muster the confidence to tell them how we truly felt.
Cliché though it might be, life is too short, and if you are always waiting for things to come to you rather than going out and grabbing them for yourself, you are almost definitely missing out.
If you have decided to take the bull by the horns and give it a shot, you may well be wondering what the right way to go about it is.
If you are feeling extra nervous about revealing your feelings, try hinting at your crush and see how they respond. Say it with your chest or send that risky text. It can help diffuse any associated pressure and motivate your crush to consider a relationship with you.
Be confident. Obviously, this is easier said than done, but confidence and clarity will make a complete difference in your conversations with your crush. No one is born an expert at this. Even the most seasoned daters have to brace themselves for the potential of rejection (and rejection comes at you fast).
Opportunity matters a lot in how your feelings are received. You have to take into account their mood, state of mind and the surroundings you find yourselves in. Do they look like they will receive the information you will give them well? Or could it potentially go south?
It is best if you are both relaxed and have a little privacy, and it is a great idea if you are both engaged in some kind of activity, whether it is sipping a coffee, taking a walk, or watching a movie. Think about when and where you will each be feeling good, then get to it.
However, do not stay hell bent on making the right opportunity “a little more perfect” because you might miss out on the right chance to make your intentions known.
There is no way to tell someone you like them without a little discomfort. The very essence of this means that you are putting something on the line and taking a risk and inherent in risk-taking is going out of your comfort zone.
So, do not get hung up about feeling awkward or uncomfortable; it is simply part of the process. Vulnerability requires discomfort, and that is just as it needs to be.
When those nerves kick in, it is easy to believe that you are not up to the task or cannot do it. The experience of feeling nervous takes over, and you forget all about the natural confidence you have in your bones.
But nerves do not preclude confidence any more than wearing a shoe precludes you from going barefoot. Those nerves mean you are doing something new and something that matters, and trusting yourself to make a choice within that experience is confidence.