That small issue of the zipper

Not so long ago, Ivan watched her fidget with the zipper on the back of her dress. With her relatively short arms, she could barely achieve the desired result of zipping up. She did not want to ask for his help after having a lover’s quarrel the night before.

Ivan claims he did not remember what the fight was about or what started it. But she was too angry to ask for his help. So Ivan’s wife of 12 years fidgeted for several minutes trying to reach that zipper without any success.

All this while, Ivan was wondering why zippers are placed in the back of dresses if it would mean encountering all this trouble, wasting almost 30 minutes to dress up. Also, why are they still being made or why do women still buy dresses with zippers?

She read his mind.

“Zips are a design feature just like pants generally have a front fly with a zip. The ones placed on the front or side are more practical,” she said, as she continued with her contortionist act.

She achieved a movement of only just about one centimetre before giving up, turning around and asking for help.

He reluctantly helped but asked who had been helping her with this mundane task before they met. There was no answer.

Then she mumbled something about her having him now and that he should stop thinking about her past. Ofcourse, he was not about to have his question disregarded with sheer arrogance.

As years pass by, we often develop rulebooks that we should abide by in any relationship. Not getting or giving answers was one of those rules in Ivan’s little book.

And so he asked again who had helped her zip up? Or how do single women go about the process of zipping up, especially if they do not have the flexibility to reach behind their backs and pull the zipper.

That is the answer he sought that particular morning as he was forced out of bed to perform the task he had diligently carried out at least twice a week for 12 years. 

Half of these times he felt the urge to tell her to choose a different outfit. But then he remembered the vows and the minister who preached tolerance in each situation.

“Before you, there was John. He zipped me up pretty well without quarreling or asking silly questions,” she told him after he was done helping her.

Also, she reminded him of her sisters and friends and whoever was living with her family and how they were willing to help her. But most importantly, she could do it all by herself.

“Maybe you should try to wear one of my dresses, and try to zip up without asking for help, then you can throw your next round of tantrums,” she told him.

And then it dawned on him that dressing up and most importantly zipping up was probably one of those several areas that make women remarkable. So, he helps without complaining.

Conflict. Unresolved conflict can lead to resentment and additional unresolved conflict in the relationship. Even more important, ongoing conflict can actually have a negative impact on your health and longevity.