Watch out for that friend who wants you to stay single

Friday April 16 2021
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Christine Nakalungi

By Christine Nakalungi

Friends come in all packages. Some are protective, others are supportive, some become sisters or brothers while others will pretend to care but turn around and sabotage your life.

Semmy had four suitors last year. When she shared the good news with her friends, most of them were supportive and gave her advice on how to navigate choosing the right one. However, one friend would always point out only the negatives about each suitor.

“Oh my God, he is too old,” she said, dismissing the first suitor who was five years older than Semmy. “Semmy, do not tell me that you consider dating someone shorter than you,” she said after meeting the second suitor. “This man would have been nice but he looks like he can follow any woman, he has adulterous eyes,” she said of another.

Semmy got discouraged because after her last serious relationship, she did not want any more heartache.

The fourth suitor met Semmy at a family function. He was on a vacation and escorted his friend who was Semmy’s cousin. The two instantly liked each other. They exchanged contacts and hangout a few times before the man declared his intentions. “I like you, I am old enough to recognise what I need and you are the one that I need,” he confessed. “I am travelling back next week but I want to meet your family. I know it is really fast but I want you to know that I am serious,” he said.

Semmy instantly got cold feet, she had mixed feelings. She had not spent enough time with this man to know him better but her cousin convinced her that he was a good man. Semmy was not convinced because much as she wanted to believe her cousin, she believed that men hide under the bro-code where they have each other’s back.

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When she shared this with her friends, three of them convinced her to give it a chance. “It is just an introduction, if things do not work out, you can always call it off,” her best friend said. “Your last relationship lasted long but he still broke your heart, there is no guarantee, but you have to stay in the game, maybe it will work out or maybe not but you will never know if you don’t try,” her other friend said. “I believe in fate, and I have seen how you blush when you talk about him. It might not be love yet but clearly, you like him. Just follow your heart and give him a chance,” another friend said.

As they all were almost convincing her, this friend silenced them, “Are we even sure he is not living with a woman in Australia? I think he just wants to make you his Ugandan side dish, so he is not lonely when he comes back for a vacation,” she almost convinced her, but her best friend stepped in and told the other friend. “You always find fault in all her suitors,” she said. “No, I am being realistic. Semmy is happier single. We all know she loves hard and that is why when she is disappointed, she hurts really hard,” she added. She had a point, but does this mean Semmy would die single?

When choosing who to love, watch out for the people you share your good news with. Besides, this is a personal choice. Sometimes, you must follow your heart. 

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