We dated for eight years

Sandra and Kenneth reconnected in 2010 during their senior six vacation at a mutual friend’s birthday.
“I did not recognise him at first,” Sandra says, “but eventually I did, and he asked for my number. We even went for a studio
photo shoot with friends. We then started meeting frequently at rugby games.”
Though Sandra attended Makerere Business School and Kenneth went to Makerere University, they stayed close. 
"We were broke in campus and often shared meals and pocket money," Sandra recalls.

Kenneth admits that when they started dating, marriage was not on their minds. But as time passed,their shared values became apparent. Both were pursuing degrees and both were orphans, which gave them a deeper connection.
"Being an orphan is hard to explain, but Sandra understood. She had grown up like me, so it was easier to create a shared journey. Plus, she loved God," Kenneth says.
Sandra felt just as connected, appreciating Kenneth’s kindness and acknowledging the absence of any “cat-and-mouse” games in their relationship. 
"I did not want to marry within my tribe, and Kenneth fit that. I wanted stability with one person," she adds.

Marriage life

Although Sandra and Kenneth dated for eight years, they quickly discovered that marriage brought new challenges.
“Marriage is very different from dating or cohabiting, ”Sandra says.“Our first year was tough. We started fighting as soon as we got back from our honey moon, and I did not think we would make it to our first anniversary.”
Initially, Kenneth struggled with communication and would withdraw during conflicts.

“I used to shut down at the first sign of disagreement. But I have learnt that communication is about helping the other person understand where you are coming from. It is not just what is in your head,” he admits.

Kenneth reflects, “Being an orphan made me realise this is my family-my only family. Messing it up would be unfair. Most of our issues were small misunderstandings or uncommunicated expectations,” he adds.
Strengthening marriage bond After seven years of marriage, Kenneth believes treating Sandra like a friend has strengthened their bond.

“This is the person who will support you through sickness or hard times, so it is important to communicate well and treat them with care.I also make time for the kids. We go out, talk about their lives. Money can be a constraint, but when we have it, we do a lot together,” he says.
With children in the mix, staying connected as a couple can be challenging. As entrepreneurs, Kenneth and Sandra have become intentional about maintaining their bond.
Though they work in different places during the day, they always catch up when they return home.

“I run an online store, and we also sell tech products, so our schedules are flexible, making it easier to plan dates. We realised dates do not have to be expensive. Sometimes we just go to the movies. Kenneth even keeps a list of restaurants, so we never run out of places to go,“ Sandra explains.
She adds, “We have come to understand that without us, the kids would not be here. So why not work on the foundation? The kids will grow up and leave, and if we do not nurture our relationship, we would just be roommates and that is not what we want.”

Evolving

Sandra believes it is essential to stay curious about your partner, as people grow and change. 
“No one stays the same,” she says.“The things someone liked three years ago might not be the same today. That is why communication is key.”
Kenneth shares similar thoughts about raising their children. 

“I want our kids to know God, be disciplined, and respect everyone. Kids today are different, I have had to adjust how I communicate. Instead of repeating commands, I use storytelling.It captures their imagination and makes them think, which works better than direct orders” he explains.
Kenneth believes storytelling helps children engage more deeply.
“When they can visualise the message, they grasp it better. Communication with kids is challenging, but we need to evolve as parents,” he emphasises.

He underscores the importance of connecting with his children individually.
“I check in with each of them, ask what is new, and listen to their stories. Just like any relationship, you have to build it.”
Kenneth balances parenting with meaningful conversations. “We can get caught up in giving orders and forget they also have things to share. I make time to talk, be a parent, but also a friend.”

Handling challenges

Kenneth acknowledges that challenges are inevitable, from financial ups and downs to everyday issues.
“One day you may have millions, the next, much less. But being friends helps us handle these challenges as a team.”

Sandra and Kenneth extend grace to each other. Seeing each other as the problem would turn them into adversaries instead of partners. But if issues are faced together, they are easier to solve.
“When mistakes happen, we do not say ‘I told you so.’ We let each other learn and suggest better ways later. Criticism
makes the other person withdraw. Once we learnt to face challenges as a unit, things got easier. As long as he is there, I know we can handle anything,”she highlights.

She continues,“That is the biggest lesson I have learned from him -nothing moves him. At first, it frustrated me because I thought he was not taking things seriously. But now, I see the value of peace of mind. He has taught me that hard times will pass.”

Kenneth reflects, “It is the best approach because otherwise, you can lose your mind when things pile up. The more challenges you face, the more you realise,‘I got through that, I can get through this too.’”

The future

Kenneth and Sandra have set clear goals for their family, centered on building a strong foundation for their next generation. Kenneth emphasises three key aspects: building wealth through income-generating assets for financial stability, fostering friendship through open communication with family, and prioritising the spiritual and emotional well-being of their children.
“If we are present our children will cherish the time spent with us,” Kenneth says.“As we age, life becomes challenging without health, spirituality, and family bonds working together.”

Sandra adds that growing together as a family is a priority, particularly because both she and Kenneth are orphans. They recognise the importance of having both parents present and want to create a nurturing environment for their children.
Their parenting approach emphasises independence and discipline, shaped by their experiences growing up without parental guidance.

“We are committed to creating lasting memories with our children and ensuring they feel our active presence in their lives, no matter what the future holds,” Sandra explains.

ABOUT DATING
Sandra reflects on their eight years of dating, acknowledging that it was because they were young and also lacked the resources to marry sooner.

“I think eight years is too long for this generation,” she says.
“While we started young, I would not recommend dating for more than two to three years. People grow and evolve, and you will never fully know someone. While one year may feel too short, waiting too long is not advisable either,” she observes.

Kenneth advises couples to view themselves as a unit, especially when building a life together. “Many women are told to maintain separate lives, but successful families thrive as one. A strong foundation, particularly in finances, is key.”

He adds, “Keeping secrets, like buying land without telling your partner, might seem minor, but it can lead to major issues. If you cannot be open about finances, you are not ready for marriage.
You are forming a family, and if things go wrong financially, one partner will inevitably bear the consequences.