When it comes to relationships, we have all made some bad choices

Thursday March 25 2021

Christine Nakalungi

By Christine Nakalungi

It is easy to judge someone just because their mistake is different from yours. Some even go ahead to condemn others as sinners forgetting that they too have sinned just because maybe their sin was judged differently by the world or never came out in public. One time, a ‘church girl’ got pregnant out of wedlock and when she came to the pastor to apologise, she said: “I feel like running from church because everyone is judging me and calling me a sinner.”

After a long silence, the pastor told her: “Whoever is judging you has sinned before and is still sinning only because your sin is evident. Just because there is no evidence to show other people’s sin does not mean that they leave a life free of sin.” She came back relieved and stayed in church, gave birth to her child and lived happily ever after.

In relationships, someone will blame another for cheating on their spouse yet they too have sabotaged a friend’s relationship. People can be cruel to others and completely forget that they too are not angels. A girl in my village dated a sugar daddy who paid her school fees at university but after graduation, she decided to marry her age mate. In anger, the sugar daddy shot and killed her at the wedding.

Everyone was fast to judge the woman, saying maybe she did something despicable but what happens if you fall out of love? Are you supposed to still marry that person just because he helped you in the past? The man is now rotting in prison but what if he had just counted his loss and moved on?

I know someone who gave her tuition money to her university boyfriend because his family had no money, and he was about to drop out. She instead dropped out, they got married but after some years, the man told her that she was not on his level because she was not as educated as he is and therefore, he found someone else who was equally educated. You might call that foolish, but she called it unconditional love then.

Some people have run away from promising relationships only to regret later. Other people call others gold diggers but can even spit if a boda boda man asks for their number. So, if you do not care about a man’s status, why are you irritated if someone of a lower status asks you out?


Life is a lesson, sometimes we learn from other people’s mistakes but most of the time we learn from our own mistakes. So, when life brings you in front of other people in embarrassing situations, do not be the first to throw a stone. Be slow to judge.

Love and life are a mystery, no one ever gets to tread only the perfect path. If you looked in a mirror, you would know that we are all imperfect and the world could use some more love and support other than pointing fingers every single time.