You are allowed to change your mind

Thursday April 29 2021
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By Bradford Kamuntu

We are often judged and made to feel guilty when we change our minds about our feelings towards people. Many conversations start and flow with ease but lack the same energy when you meet in person. I have always maintained the thought that if an encounter does not work out as you had imagined then you are more than allowed to change your mind.

Furthermore, I do not believe it is solely limited to first encounters. Your mind is allowed to change over time. It could all boil down to character traits, personality, looks or maybe even all-round compatibility. We have been made to fear judgment and public disapproval so much that many people have remained in relationships they changed their minds about a long time ago.

There is also the aspect of fear of hurting someone’s feelings, I think what we need to pay most and closest attention to is our delivery. If you are not speaking with intent to hurt but simply making it known that you just do not have the ability to spend time with this person anymore, then all should run smoothly. I think this fear of the court of public opinion stops us from expressing change of heart.

No matter the reason, it is okay to change your mind any day, any time. When we decide what is aligned in our hearts, there should be execution to ensure we are living our most authentic life.

The idea or infatuation with someone is often fleeting, it manifests as something more concrete and it is very easy for one to get invested really quickly. Someone may also make promises that are suggestive of something long term and then have moments of self-reflection where they think hard on those ill-timed promises and decide to make changes.

It is also possible that someone you are interested in presents one version of themselves, but then you are met with an entirely different version of them when you embark on more serious companionship. It is more than okay when met with such a scenario to change your mind about entering a partnership with this person, in this case you were presented with a version of them that they wanted you to see. When who they really are unveils themselves and it does not align with the ideals of who you wanted to be with, then walk away.

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We are not tied to situations and more importantly we are not tied to people, and when a situation/person is not at all what we expected then it is well within your right to change your mind, do not be bullied into staying in a situation that does not sit well with your spirit. Do not be held back by guilt. As human beings, we are constantly evolving, our perceptions of people and relationships are no exception and it is okay for you to turn your back on those previously made decisions.

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