Your mother’s new boyfriend is not your enemy

Wednesday November 25 2020
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If there is a man willing to love and protect her, do not drive him away. PHOTO | SHUTTERSTOCK

By Christine Nakalungi

Usually, the bond between a mother and son is unbreakable. Although it is a mother’s job to protect her children, when they grow up, boys usually turn into the protectors and sometimes, too early in their lives. They feel it is their obligation to love and protect their mothers. And it is good to know that your son has your back. Daughters tend to start appreciating mothers after they have become mothers themselves but sons can start as early as five to appreciate her cooking, which they most times think is the best in the world and when the father leaves or dies, they become the men of the house.

A responsible son is every mother’s dream until he becomes overprotective. If you think it is hard to impress a girl’s father when you ask for her hand in marriage, you have surely not seen boys chasing away their mother’s suitors. At first, they believe they are the only men who are loyal enough to stay with their mother, especially if the father is no longer in the picture.

However, it is because of being so sensitive to their mother’s feelings. They saw her cry when their father left, they saw how broken she was when she lost him. It is then that most boys vow to protect their mothers from never having to experience that pain again.

However, it becomes a different story when grown up sons refuse to leave their mothers’ houses all in the name of “we are protecting her”. It is usually at this point that the mother’s level of loneliness goes up. Once she realises that her children are grown, she is likely to start dating again. 

However, some mothers start dating the moment the other man lives because besides living a lonely life, they know that raising boys to become responsible men without a father figure is a tall order. So they put themselves out there, hoping they will meet someone who will accept them and their children. 

Some sons are overprotective, which is good, and it is their obligation to be. However, it is also important to give your mother’s suitor a chance. Not all men are bad. Your father might have left her but there might just be someone who will love her right. Whether the relationship works out or not, your mother needs to know that no matter the circumstances, you will always be there. She needs to know that you will allow her to make dating mistakes, knowing that you will be there to help her mend a broken heart. 

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You cannot keep driving all men away because in the end, your mother will end up all alone and sad while you go off and start a family of your own. If your mother is happy, she will not turn into the overprotective mother who will torment your wife. She will have her life to live. 

Mothers too deserve happiness and a son sometimes cannot give her that. If there is another man willing to love and protect her, do not drive him away. Not all men are bad, give your mother a chance to remarry if she wants to.

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