Dear pastor, you can do better than this

My Dearest Pastor,

Ten years ago, I made the decision to leave the mainstream church of my parents and join your new congregation. Though my decision may have seemed hasty at the time, I do not regret it. Over the years, I have grown immensely in my understanding of myself, of you, and most importantly, of God.

I would be dishonest if I claimed that my conversion was solely a spiritual one, because the truth is, the music, the screens, and the overall theatrical atmosphere of the church certainly played a role in drawing me in. However, it was also your approach to God's Word that truly captivated me. The fresh perspectives you brought, the way you seamlessly referenced scriptures I had never heard before, despite having been a lifelong Bible reader, your command of language, and the apparent perfection of your family all convinced me that I had found the right place.

However, after all these years, I feel there are some important matters that need to be addressed.

One of the most critical points is that many of your followers have come to rely on you entirely, even for life-altering decisions. As such, your words and actions must be as near to perfect as possible. 

While I understand that perfection is unattainable for any human being, it is clear that much has been entrusted to you, and with that comes great responsibility. Some in your flock take your words as gospel—literally. 

This can be problematic. When you speak, particularly about life and death, it carries weight, and many in the congregation see it as a foregone conclusion. What good is a ministry where none of the flock are empowered to make their own decisions? If you have a thousand young people in your care, yet their potential remains untapped and their minds closed, is this truly fulfilling your calling? The power you hold should be used for good, not to subjugate others to intellectual dependency.

Another area that I feel warrants reflection is your relationships; with your fellow ministers, your family, and your congregation. 

Do you realise the damage that anger and division have done to the spread of the gospel? The display of hostility and hatred you have shown in the past has hindered the message of love and unity more than anything else. 

While many of us are capable of forgiveness and tolerance, I believe even Christ's call to forgive seventy-seven times requires genuine reconciliation, not just lip service. After all, as His representative on earth, you are called to embody that same spirit of boundless grace.

Your emphasis on financial offerings, even from the poorest among us, is also troubling. The constant insistence on prosperity can be a dangerous trap, especially when the prosperity seems only to benefit the few at the top. It reminds me of the behaviour of Eli’s sons, whose actions were condemned in the Bible for exploiting the faithful. 

If prosperity theology were truly for all, as the gospel promises abundance for all who trust in Him, it would not be as damaging.

I must also address the issue of fear-mongering, which I find deeply unsettling. When spiritual leaders use fear to manipulate people into giving or making decisions, it becomes harmful. I have personally encountered situations where people have told me that my deceased father was ill and unaware of it, that my stepmother was bewitching me (even though my father had long passed), and even that a coworker was scheming to take my job (haha I am an arts teacher). I was able to see through these attempts because, while I am a believer, I also hold on to reason and rationality. 

But many others may not have the same clarity and can be manipulated by such tactics. Fear-based messages open the door for exploitation, and this is something that, as pastors, you must take care to avoid.

Please, for the sake of the flock, let us be careful with the words we speak. We must not fall into the trap of making people passive by telling them that their future is already determined. People need to be empowered to make decisions for themselves. If someone tells you your relationship is destined for failure, especially when you are vulnerable, it robs you of the strength to show up and make things right. We cannot control every outcome, but we can choose how we respond to life's challenges. 

Let us not allow passivity to dictate our fate. We may not control all circumstances, but we can certainly control what we pour our hearts into and how we show up in the world.

As a believer, I continue to trust in God’s guidance, but I also believe that we must be diligent in holding one another accountable. My desire in writing this is not to criticise, but to encourage a more thoughtful and responsible approach to leadership. God has entrusted you with much, and my prayer is that you will continue to use that gift for His glory and the benefit of His people.