LIVING AND LOVING IT : A day of mixed emotions
Last Thursday was a day of mixed emotions for me. It all began very well. We had an appointment at our daughter’s school to find out how she had done during the term. We went with her and it was fun to have her take us around her school and class.
The chats with her teachers were also interesting. The good news was she had improved a lot in certain areas such as sharing and swimming. The better news was she is a generally good student and had passed with flying colours to middle class. We were so proud.
Throughout the day, I kept on wondering how we should reward her. There was that pair of cute pink shoes we had seen in the supermarket a few weeks back. She would definitely be excited to have them. Then I thought of the books I could buy her.
She loves to read. She will pull anything that has pictures and words in it and at least give it a look-see. Best of all, there was the idea of taking her out. We are basically stay-at-home people over the weekends. So when we go out even for a meal or birthday party, it is a big deal. I therefore begun to mentally write down places we could take her to, such as that school/play area for children that so many parents have told me about, or the fun farm where children are taught about animals and plants in a fun and interesting way.
By the end of the day, I had a rough plan for the holidays. We got home to stories about this and that from her. Then supper was served and that’s when things started going downhill. She sort of reported herself to us, saying she had done something naughty. After a lot of probing and back and forth with her and finally the maid, we realised she had done something wrong but not intentionally.
I decided a simple chat with her about it would do. She was very attentive and promised not to do it again. I thought all was fine but it just got crazier. She started to get really naughty, refusing to do her bedtime rituals such as brushing her teeth and going to the loo. What usually takes us 15 minutes to do took us about 30 and by the time we bade each other goodnight, we were not on great speaking terms. The rest of the night was worse. She just would not sleep and kept crying and calling out for help. Initially I worried she could be sick but after a while, I realised she was seeking attention. It was one tiring night.
At the end of it all, I found myself reassessing my parenting skills. I knew that she was being stubborn and doing everything in her power to irk us. But I also knew that in it all, she was seeking attention. After all, what had begun as a good evening ended up badly and she was not happy about that. Had I been too harsh? Where should I have been tough and where should I have been soft?
How far should I have gone in disciplining her? How could I show her that while what she was doing was wrong and she should stop, I still loved and cared about her and she was still my baby and not necessarily just that bad little girl?
I get the feeling I shall still be asking those questions years down the road.
