Historian Geoffrey Best said it best in his 2001 biography, Churchill: A Study in Greatness (Penguin): “His [Churchill’s] childhood was in some respects miserable and it seems impossible to believe that the extraordinary personality of his adult years was not largely forged by it, or in reaction to it.
His private life no doubt interacted significantly with his public life.” And there you have it: parenting is the master key to shaping this world, for better or worse. It doesn’t matter if you want to parent or not, whether you are a parent or not. Our children will be raised by accident or design.
Churchill was, for instance, closer to his nanny Elizabeth Ann Everest than his “birth mother”. So if parenting is inescapable, one way or another, why not do it right? This is essentially Hellen T. Shwanda’s message: raising our children correctly in largely orphaned times. It is a “noble occupation”, she writes. It is clear from the start that the author wants to improve the world through better parenting. On this score, she succeeds admirably.
Well, in terms of spreading positivity. She leaves nothing in the proverbial tank while at it; instead she leaves everything on the page. “Parents might feel like they are traversing an ever-changing terrain of parenting challenges; like cyber bullying, celebrity craze and many things that have come up with the influence of social media.
Although no parent can guarantee success of their children, nevertheless, good morals and wisdom can be passed on to children by their parents, guardians, foster parents and parent figures,” writes the author.
There is only so much that parents can do to insulate their children against the amorality of this world or inspire them with the precise opposite. So, to an extent, this turns parenting into a lottery whose outcome is reflected in how the child turns out. With the world influencing our children outside the home in so many ways, this is the best we have in terms guaranteeing our children grow into upstanding citizens.
Cult leader and criminal Charles Manson had parents, but their influence on his behaviour was limited due to the limited nature of parenting. To fill the vacuum where his parent’s influence could have been, Manson believed that the Beatles spoke to him through their lyrics, especially those included in the White Album, released in December 1968.
According to the Rolling Stone magazine, “Several songs from the White Album crystalized Manson's thinking about a coming revolt by blacks against the white Establishment.” In the chapter titled “Positive Masculinity”, the author’s advice has a peppermint freshness to it that can resolve the so-called battle of sexes in favour of love.
Her focus on the how to nurture positive masculine traits in men is empowering, especially in view of the wholly disempowering notion of toxic masculinity often bandied about by our flame-throwing feministas. “Positive masculinity can be promoted at early age by teaching young children to respect all people.
There is need for a paradigm shift on what most men think a real man should be; and a new approach should be adopted with a critical lens. Do you need to beat your wife to be a real man? What impact does this violence have on your family and the community?
These are hard questions that every wife beater needs to ask himself,” writes the author. Although, one might point out, there are an increasing number of cases orbiting about husband beating, too. It all boils down to good parenting, without it domestic violence will skyrocket. And this will spill over into a society at odds with itself.
Title: Positive Parenting
Author: Hellen T. Shwanda
Pages: 105
Price: Shs50,000
Availability: Uganda Bookshop
Published: 2023
