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Why is everyone scared of being normal?

What you need to know:

  • You see, you can tell lots about your future spouse by how they handle their cup of coffee or tea, how they stir, how they rest that spoon and how the fingers embrace the cup handle. 

There are two types of people in this city – those that crush their bones and those that leave the bones intact. My family for all the time I have known them, belong to the former group. It is a rule that the bone must be given the treatment it deserves, crushed in a Kijjabwemi style.

The more I enjoy this journey called life, the more I recognise people’s personalities in the simple aspects of their lives. You see, you can tell lots about your future spouse by how they handle their cup of coffee or tea. You can tell from how they stir, how they rest that spoon and how the fingers embrace the cup handle. Again, there are many ways to tell people; how they hold the steering wheel, how they navigate a corner and above all, their writers.

One day, when the gods of wealth visit me with all seriousness, I will build my library. But I do not plan on stocking every book, I plan to be picky with my writers. A Dostoevsky, a Nietzsche, a Tolstoy, a Murakami, you get where this could lead. Speaking of Murakami, I was at the airport when I landed on his title. It was a rare coincidence given how bookstores have specialised in not stocking my favourites. From the first paragraph, Murakami had me all in. I wanted a piece of this simplicity, this ability to not try so hard to write. To simply tell a story and capture an essence without struggle. I felt so close to Murakami’s characters, and their struggles to make sense of this thing, this thing we call existence.

And Murakami’s characters are not strange or pursuing some big agendas, they are normal people going about their normal lives and pulling mean out of these veils of normalcy. When I challenged this lady at the bookstore about their inability to stock my titles, she did not bulge. She engaged me in a conversation. We went title by title, author by author. She had a good grasp of this world. Before we knew it, a whole world had developed between us, we felt that we understood each other. We even discussed about the ‘banned books’, those that were stocked once never to be stocked again. But people, she was just a normal lady at her normal job.

And then I realised, I had stumbled on a theory. It is the theory of normal. You see, it is now radical to be normal. To not be lost in ambition, to wake up and pursue one’s duties with love, a love born of sacrifice, that is now radical. Radical in the sense that everyone now wants greatness, everyone seems to be pursuing some bigger thing. And in doing this, we have forgotten that art of doing normal things well.

Why is everyone trying to launch the next big thing? Why is everyone acting like they are famous and everyone else is their fan? I had a friend who had sleeping as her hobby. I did not get her then. But now I do. And at the risk of sounding like a motivational speaker, I say, it is okay to lead a slow and boring life. It is okay to just do normal things. To enjoy a good sleep, to invite friends for dinner, to even stretch it and be local. Not everything should be curated for the broadcast. The performance has got to stop before it’s too late.

Because people, here is the truth. Greatness cannot be purchased. Your pastor, your coach has convinced you that greatness is for everyone. But not true, it is a preserve for those convicted for it, not sold into it. No one buys themselves into greatness. No one buys themselves into the next Steve Jobs or Elon Musk or who in Uganda? Wait, not so many examples to highlight here. Greatness is a burden that only a few can afford to carry and manage. For the rest of you, your greatness must be sought in normalcy. Wake up, brush your teeth, take a shower, say your prayers, make the breakfast, take the children to school and go be a good employee. No, do not even dream about starting your own thing. 

What is this obsession with everyone trying to create their own thing? Again, why do people seek to carry crosses they understand not? Because you read that your former classmate has gone through a Series A or B raising round for their startup? You see, you can stay at the job and serve well. Maybe the whole stress is you thinking there is a place beyond where you are right now.

What am I trying to say? The most revolutionary act is to be normal. Because this rush for greatness has got us all dipping our hands in the same tiny coffers. We all want a mansion, a German machine, we all want to startle, we all want to be the thing that everyone talks about. Maybe if you just do normal people things, you will not feel the need for that greatness. And if you have not bought a rolex or roasted Maize or sugarcane this week, maybe you are forcing it too hard. Kakana! Yueyo!

Postscript: Why are people so interested in placing others? You are Acholi? From Teso? Wait, you cannot be from Buikwe… I am just a ka-human being. All else is noise. 

Here is the truth. Greatness cannot be purchased. Your pastor, coach has convinced you that greatness is for everyone. But not true, it is a preserve for those convicted for it, not sold into it. No one buys themselves into greatness.

X: @OrtegaTalks