Book review: Turning scars into beauty marks
Dr Dennis Sempebwa signs a copy of People-Ology during the book launch in Kampala recently. PHOTO | COURTESY
What you need to know:
- Dr. Denis Sempebwa, a renowned author and thought leader, recently launched his 19th book, “People-Ology,” which explores the transformative power of relationships.
We all carry scars from negative associations. And it is through the lens of these scars that we view and do present and future relationships. In the book People-Ology (Mastering the Delicate Art of Relationships) by Dr Dennis Sempebwa, the author offers essential, practical and easy to apply principles to drastically improve one's relational life in what he best terms as Relationship Quotient (RQ)- the ability to understand and manage human interconnectedness.
Relationships are a crucial part of life. Dr Rose Kiwanuka, a palliative care nurse shares her experience spanning 30 years on managing life ending illnesses.
She reveals in a Monitor interview that, "most people's dying wishes is the regrets they have about how they failed to handle relationships and if they were to turn back the clock, they would do better." This is why this manual is broken down into four sections to give readers a priceless experience of human connectedness and a new reality that they cannot get rid of meaningful relationships only because one is a difficult business partner, bullying father, nagging wife, manipulative godmother, scheming son or a suffocating mother-in-law.
"Whether you are in search of understanding, on a journey of healing, or feeling relationally isolated and vulnerable, People-Ology is a guiding light towards clarity and resilience. It will guide you toward relational sobriety and help you establish emotional boundaries," says Evelyn Mutebi, Minnesota, USA.
The book enlists a number of perceptions of from different readers all over the world who speak fondly of the author and some intriguing ideas exposed in the book on managing difficult relationships.
Abigail Sempebwa projects the book as a meditation on her father's teachings on how to handle relationships. She reflects, “During many daddy-daughter dates, he has asked me who your friends are? and walked me through heartaches and confusing relationships. People-ology is a complication of warnings, encouragement, and guidance that I have had the privilege to hear while growing up."
Dr Sempebwa goes on to list his inner friend circles. He applauds, "....through every season of my life, God sent me friends who loved me, protected me, encouraged me," listing names such as; Robert Okema, Michael Bunya, Fred Kimuli, Florence Kizito, Isaac Rucci and most importantly adding his wife Ingrid to the list as his biggest cheerleader.
He, however, highlights that friends should celebrate each other’s strength even on the worst days. He recognises that it is not right to fix your circles but rather be present at their worst. He confesses, “Ingrid considers me as a best friend but unfortunately when she has a challenge, I tend to fix her by summoning Doctor D, or Dennis the guru. Every time I do that, she resents me trying to fix her instead of listening." The first sections of the 185 pages of People-Ology starts off with an interesting subject titled, "Mangoes" simply referring to Relationships as mangoes. These we like, we pick, and take them along with us by befriending and intimating with them.
"No matter who we are, at some time or other, every one of us has picked a bad mango," the author pens down noting that when you see rot in your mango, you turn to the other side of the mango to eat whatever is left of it. In the eight chapters of the book that characterises topics on friends, foes, trainers, aggressiveness, and eventually stains and cure, Sempebwa challenges readers to look out for personality traits in friendships that they cannot necessarily throw away.
The author structures the book in a way that highlights his real life experiences dealing with difficult relationships and gives a lesson filled tutorial for readers to reflect upon. He quotes, “we all carry scars, we all have been broken by someone. So what then? Rather than isolate, hide, run, pretend, there is a better way that I invite you to ponder......" The author also goes ahead to quote numerous proverbs before he delves into a topic to make the reading relatable. One famous Tanzanian proverb he quotes, “To be without a friend is to be poor indeed."
There is no better ending on a good read like the concept on “The Bedroom," he puts out which he believes has shaped leaders under his mentorship.
The concept cautions one on inviting too many friends into their space of intimacy which is the bedroom but rather offer enough room in the living room where you share few personal details about your life. The best cure he tips is love because love is enduring. He closes the curtains leaving behind meditation for readers to subject their relationships to the expression of love in order to make room for their relationships to thrive.
People-Ology is full of exciting revelations about relationships. Here you get to recognise wrong associates, right relationships, build lifelong fulfilling relationships. It evokes emotions of laughter, cry, sigh, and a holistic development of personal connectedness.
