Appreciate that each child is different

September is a memorable month in our household and when it comes with rain, we cannot help but feel and receive the blessings.

The younger child’s birthday comes first and six days later, the older child celebrates her birthday. As a mother, I plan to have one birthday celebration. It was an idea I borrowed from one of my bosses, whose three children were born in the month of May. The family always has one big celebration.

In all my planning and projections, there was a seemingly minor detail that was taken for granted. It was assumed the children would have no issues sharing their birthday and that we would have one big happy occasion in which they would all cut one cake and share it.

Alas! Human beings are different. First, the children completely hated the idea of sharing the cake and celebration. They both have their own individual friends and their own ideas of celebrating a birthday.

Eventually, mother understood that she had overstepped the boundaries and accepted each child to be their own person with their individual preferences. Over the years, everyone gets to be celebrated individually, they cut their own cake and enjoy their celebrations with their own friends.

We are all wired individually. As a parent, learning this seemingly simple and yet profound detail has saved me from unnecessary stress.

Every day, I learn the importance of taking time to study and understand each child and find hints and guiding lights on how to best parent each child.  Because we are all different, I must quickly align and adapt to this reality. This readjustment is not necessarily comfortable, but it works better than trying to fit a giraffe in the space of a dog.

Every September, I realise how time quickly passes by. When the boy had just been born and we were making adjustments to his schedule, I wondered if a time would come when he would be grown and independent.

The times are now here. Both of them have grown by leaps and bounds and they continue to unearth their own personalities with specific interests and goals. I am now teaching myself not to overly interfere as I also align my own footing into the space where they shall have move on, significantly independent of my direct input into their lives and decisions.

As I release them, I release myself too and work on my own goals and aspirations. Such is the cycle of life... but for now, please wish both my babies, a beautiful September birthday.