Be the best version of yourself

In the centre of the busy mall, the loud shouts caught my attention. On the floor, rolling and screaming at the top of his voice, was a child of perhaps five or six years. His mother was pleading with him to stop it. He was shouting back and making a very big scene.

Perhaps every parent has experienced tantrums from their children. When we were children and you attempted a tantrum, my mother would not only ignore you, but she could walk away and go back home without you. Oftentimes, it was really up to you to come to your senses and get back in line.

I read an interesting quote that said, instead of buying for your children all the things you never had as a child, teach them all the things you were never taught as a child. That caught my attention.

Many times, as parents, we tend to desire to live our unlived lives in the lives of our offspring. If we felt a certain way as children, we want to ensure our children do not feel that way. If we were underprivileged, we tend to want to ensure that our children are not just privileged but overprivileged.

And sometimes, therein lie errors. Parenting will always be a roller-coaster. I am not sure if anyone qualifies to be an expert because what works for one child might completely fail with another. There are many days and nights when parenting feels like a wave of exasperation. Sometimes as the parent, you seem to hit walls. And therein lies the truth that we should always seek God’s wisdom in raising children.

There is that child that seems to get it almost immediately. They have a teachable and learning heart. Then there is an independent child who struggles to be instructed in any form.

I am beginning to believe that the best every parent can do is to be their best self. To work on their values and approach to life and by that understanding, set a pattern and standard for the children. As you become a better individual, hopefully the children opt to model their own lives like yours.

That is an investment that cannot be taken away from anyone. Someone once told me that the best gift they could ever give their loved ones including children, spouse, friends is to work on themselves.

The benefits of working on ourselves is multidimensional.A grumpy mother carries a spillover effect. Your bad mood will affect everyone and everything including the house pet. I must work on me to be a better parent, a better individual and a better citizen.