In real life, no one cares about your scores in primary

I remember entering the head teacher’s office. My heart was beating several beats in a moment. I was not sure what to expect. When I got my results, I was relieved. At least my mother would not be disappointed and there was a good chance I would get into my first choice school.

That is all that mattered at that time because my dear mother was a civil servant who could not afford to get me a school, if my grades failed me. Last week, many social media platforms were awash with results from the primary leaving examinations. Some were excitedly sharing their children’s scores, while others wept because of the poor grades.

When you are 12 or 13 years of age, it does not matter what the adults think or say. You are significantly defined by your grades alongside the dreams your parents have for you. I can emphasise with all the candidates, both the happy and not so happy ones. Funny how in real life, no one cares about your scores in primary school. No matter how fancy your certificate nor how glorious your mark may be, it almost never carries much significance in later years.

Should we not care about children’s performance in school? Absolutely not. Our grades at primary school level have the ability of getting you into a worthwhile secondary school. The secondary school you go to, plays a big role in how we see life and what we become in the future. The friends we make, the connections we build and the interactions tend to form a focal part and foundation on which we build many other details of our lives.

All that notwithstanding, those grades do not necessarily or automatically define our success or failure in life. We all know the children of our day who scored such poor grades and yet they are successful adults. In fact, some are the employers of some of the best candidates.

We also know many of the best candidates who have known no peace, growth or development in their later life. What a sad paradox! I know one really brilliant person who was institutionalised and has not lived a sound life, despite his brilliance.

How do we draw the delicate balance? How do we motivate our children to aim for the sky, yet stay grounded and secure in themselves? How do you comfort the boy whose grades will not get him into his school of first choice or the girl who is depressed because she got eight aggregates instead of four?

Where do we draw the line? I sat down with a child who had not done well at all. Interestingly, she was not too bothered and my challenge was to get her to understand that we cannot simply push the bad grades under some carpet and pretend they did not happen. I find my strength in prayer. I pray and entrust God with my children. I pray about the good and poor grades and in all things, I give thanks.