Same space, distant hearts: Social media ruins marriages

A workmate came to office the other day and shared how he has been having sleepless nights becuase of social media posts he had seen on various groups. In the course of the week, his productivity at work was greatly affected. Almost every day, by 2pm, he would be spent and excuse himself to go back home and rest.

He writes a lot in the night but had been failing to accomplish his assignments because of insomnia, general body weakness and absence of mind.

Statista, a leading provider of market and consumer data, estimated that by 2021, 3.02 billion people globally would be active social media users.

Social media connects us to friends and family by bridging the physical gap. We can share birthdays, work situations, light moments, in an instant without physically moving an inch.

It also expands our social networks because of its interactive nature. You meet new people on social media who can expand your horizons intellectually, professionally or recreationally. 

It is a platform for gaining new knowledge in new fields. So much information is exchanged on social media that even the willfully ignorant or one who would have the wool pulled over their eyes will invariably know because of the free flow of information.

Social media serves as an avenue of marketing worthwhile causes to large audiences from individuals to corporations in the business, political and nonprofits world. 

It has also created virtual social communities that offer financial and emotional support. Many social initiatives have contributed money to social causes.

Downsides

But beware of possible anxiety or depression. Some people get negatively affected when they see other people’s successes and achievements on social media. This causes unnecessary comparisons, which often leads to feelings of worthlessness and suicidal thoughts. 

Nomophobia- addiction to smart phones has become common and many people have become slaves to their phones. Sit in a taxi or banking hall or restaurant and you will see how people’s eyes are glued to their phones. If you asked 20 or 30 year-olds what else they would take to a desert island, their answer would be a phone.

Likes and shares on their posts trigger the feel-good dopamine- neurotransmitters associated with pleasure, a signal in their brain which wants the action repeated, hence the addiction.

Same space, distant hearts

You can be in the same space at the same time and still be disconnected. Think of a couple sitting together in bed after a long day at work and busy on their phones rather than talking to each other. 

You have probably seen a couple out on a date but engrossed on their phones.  All these are symptomatic of how much social media has ironically brought us closer but separated us.

Negative effect on physical health

Overuse of social media on phone or tablet screens at night disrupts sleep patterns and can affect your eyesight. Spending long periods of time seated in one place can cause problems such as obesity and heart disease.   

Fear of missing out (FOMO)

Social media gives the impression that you are missing out if you are not involved. Of course, FOMO began way long before social media came but has been exacerbated by this new technology.

We have always wanted to be part of something, or a community. It is our natural social construct. We don’t want to be left out. So when you find yourself missing out on some conversation, you begin to feel inadequate or worthless.  

Trolling, cyber bullying

Facebook, Whatsapp, and Twitter can be avenues for emotionally hurting those we do not like or those who perceive themselves as unlikable. The amount of wrong information that goes out and how fast it spreads is worrisome. The social media attacks that can happen on a person or product or service can lead to collapse of an enterprise or relationship. 

How to detox digitally

Parents should be an example in setting limits for themselves and their children in using social media. Limit it to certain times and places, for instance, away from the dinner table, school, in bed or at work.

Switch off phones completely when you go to bed or place it in another room and do not reach for it first thing in the morning. When my workmate switched off his phone some of those nights, he reported that he slept soundly.  

Prioritise mental health

Physically visit friends and family. If you are bored and want some respite for that downtime, join a gym, get a hobby that is non-screen technologyrelated, volunteer somewhere, take a walk or read a physical book.

Delete applications you don’t use often.  Turn off your notifications. Go off social media completely for a time if you think you are addicted but inform your friends and family prior. 

Social media is here to stay. Governments may not be able to regulate it sufficiently for us. Therefore, you should take the initiative to regulate it for your own mental health and relationships’ wellbeing.