The value of setting rules boundaries

He rushed into the house and the first thing he did was to switch on the light in the dark room where I was seated. He glanced at the clock before quickly switching off the light and breathing a sigh of relief.

He had about seven minutes to the deadline and I watched quietly as he rushed for his towel and dashed into the shower. He knows the rules. If he takes too much time hanging out in the neighbourhood, he would shower with cold water. I listened quietly as he whistled working fast. At 7.30pm sharp, the heater would go off and he would experience a cold shower.

Setting boundaries and sticking to them is a great hack when raising children, especially teenagers. It saves you emotional strength that you would spend fighting and screaming at children.

Boundaries also help in building and fostering personal responsibility. On one particular evening, he entered the shower and in moments, the clock switched. He was late and mother was not ready to bend the rules and standards. He came out from the bathroom and pleaded to be allowed a few minutes to which this mother said NO!

He was hurt. I could hear him murmuring and grumbling. And yet I needed to hold my ground and stick with the process. Why? Because I must go past my own emotions in this equation of parenting and look at the broader picture, which is a life with boundaries and purpose.

If you know that you should have showered by a certain time and you choose to move around the house doing everything else except to shower, then you should be ready for the consequences.

Real life requires wit, tenacity, commitment, responsibility and creativity. Unfortunately some parents, despite their love and commitment for their children, will not live their lives for them. The children must swim themselves. And whereas the parent’s contribution is significant, I cannot eat the food for the child neither can I live life for them. They have got to get down and do this thing called life all by themselves.

I am convinced these seemingly simple and mundane rules separate men from boys and position them to achieve more out of life.

Time and chance happens to everyone but the one who knows how to make the most of the opportunity will be miles ahead of the one who doesn’t.  Parent’s eternal responsibility is to prepare children in such a way that their eyes of understanding are opened to life’s realities in order to make the most out of situations.