How can I handle an overly emotional employee?

Dear Caroline, 
One of my employees often bursts into tears whenever I discuss his work. Whenever this happens, he disappears from the office for days; I think trying to compose himself. He even confessed to a friend that he is so afraid of doing anything wrong at work that he often ends up not trying new things that might be helpful? He is a good worker, but he is unable to control his emotions. How can I effectively communicate to him without triggering those extreme reactions?  Kiiza

Hello Kiiza,
The world of work can be very complex and how we manage our team members is essential, not only for the organisation but also for the team members growth and development. 

In the first instance, I would advise that you look at your discussion with your team member, not as a criticism but rather as a discussion about constructive feedback to do their work better. 

How we approach these conversations is very important. To achieve the desired outcome, it is also essential that you understand and appreciate the temperaments of the people you supervise.  

It is essential to check that providing feedback is not the trigger for his emotions. As the supervisor, you need to be mindful of the context and environment in which the discussion occurs.  It would be best if you had an open and honest conversation with your team member. 

You may want to set up a meeting and address the matter. In terms of the discussion structure, recognise and acknowledge his excellent performance and contribution to the team’s success.

Then ask the questions that probe where he is having challenges in the workplace. This may allow him to share his concerns etc. In the discussion, you must table the observations you have made and ask what causes him to behave in the manner. 

Discussing the issues also allows you to agree on how to manage such discussion in the future. It will also allow you to identify the best approach to get the best out of him. 

As a guide for supervisors, you should give feedback one-on-one without other team members being present. The timing of the feedback should be considered, and it should not be given when he is in the middle of doing an essential piece of work. Ensure you have all the information that you need to provide comprehensive feedback. 

Lastly, focus your feedback on what you want and not what you do not want. What you want is the positive work that he can deliver for you without being emotional and disengaged.

Caroline Mboijana, Managing Director,The Leadership Team (U)  [email protected]