I have to work under my mother-in-law, and she hates me
What you need to know:
Having said that, in your case, you need to check and ascertain whether your continued employment with your mother in law doesn’t violate the conflict of interest policy in your company
Dear Moses,
I have had a rocky relationship with my mother-in-law, though, I always speak for myself. Now, she has joined the company I work with in one of the management positions. I’m afraid she has eventually cornered me. I don’t know if I have to become a yes person both at work and home. How do I swiftly go on with work in such an environment, won’t she use disagreements against me? Leticia
Dear Leticia,
Your God has given you a big test by placing you between a rock and a hard place! Family relationships are dicey subjects and it gets worse if it is your mother in law with whom you have had a rocky relationship.
Mothers-in-law traditionally even have uncharitable sayings made about them like, “It’s better to find a grave than a mother-in-law” goes a Luganda saying! What these young brides forget is that its just a matter of time for them to be referred to in the very same uncharitable terms when their own sons grow into young men and bring home brides!
Having said that, in your case, you need to check and ascertain whether your continued employment with your mother in law doesn’t violate the conflict of interest policy in your company. If it does, then your relationship has to be declared to your HR Manager. Declaring your relationship to HR will create safeguards for yourself.
This is because your mother-in-law, who happens to be occupying a managerial position and, therefore, by implication your boss, will be under obligation to excuse herself from participating in making decisions that may impact your job and career in your company.
Secondly, when your relationship is officially declared, your mother-in-law will never be appointed as your direct supervisor.
If that happens, you would then have to be moved to another department and be placed under a neutral supervisor. Now, the above scenario assumes that your company is professionally run according to standard HR manuals, labour laws and conforms to corporate governance structures.
In many companies unfortunately, we have witnessed family dramas extended into the workplace to the detriment of both the company and the actors.
Finally, you know your family members better than anyone else. If you are certain that you will be the subject of unmitigated drama from your mum in law at your workplace, then it may be better to start looking for another employer early enough.
Moses Ssesanga,
Head of Human Resource,
NMG Uganda
[email protected].
