Supporting your child in the world of work

Question: I recently had a series of engaging conversations with friends whose children have finished university and are now at the point where the job-hunting process is taking longer than anticipated, and both child and parent are stressed. In the middle of the conversations, one parent shared their experience, and he spoke from the point of view of having supported his child over 10 months of this journey into the world of work. Here are some of his points to the questions the group asked him

Q: How do you cope when the waiting becomes extensive? How did you do it?

A: You have to hold on and not give up. During this time, your child will be very aware of the stress that is going on in the home. S/he is constantly being asked, “Have you found a job?” They are in that delicate space, questioning themselves, “What is wrong ? Am I not good enough?”. This means how you have the discussion and engage in encouragement so that their quiet voice to those questions is not discouraging. As a parent, it is very tough because you have done your obligation and given your child the best education you can afford.

Q: So what did you do? What practical things do you do?

A: First, I acknowledged the reality of the situation in Uganda. The job market is getting smaller, and while there is space for innovation and self-made business, you need to decide what you want for your child. I also had to acknowledge that the “waiting time” was much longer than anticipated. I had to re-set my expectations. Only then can you think through how you support them. My wife and I wanted our son to be in formal employment to experience structure, process, and systems work with different people to understand what good looks like. He can train his mind with the discipline many of us learn in the workplace. I wanted him to understand the importance of commitment to deliver, report to work on time and be held accountable for his responsibilities.

Given what we wanted for him, we worked with him. I looked in my network and asked those in different offices about internship programmes or opportunities. This is where my social capital came into play. When they confirmed opportunities, I worked with my son. It was his responsibility to research the organisations and find out what they were recruiting for, what the requirements were, and what was required of him. He did all the work because it was an indication of his commitment.

As we continued job hunting, we encouraged him to take online courses to keep his mind occupied, and we also encouraged him to join social groups that would enhance his abilities and open him to learning something new. He learned how to play the guitar and joined the young leader’s programmes at church. The point was to keep his mind occupied so it did not stray into dangerous territory, read mental well-being.

Q: What has been the biggest learning from this experience?

A: I have five children; this young man is our first, so I have four more to go. My biggest takeaway from this is that I had to understand my son to help me. When I say understand my son, I needed to know what he was passionate about honestly; any job was not good enough. He wanted a particular job and already knew what career he wanted. This was difficult because my initial view was to get you into a good organisation in a role that may not be your ideal, but work hard and then move. But I quickly realised that was not for this young man. 

As I wait for the four to come through, my wife and I have agreed to encourage them, even while at university, to start working to gain foundational skills. We will help them think through what careers they want and what they are good at, and we will begin to nurture those skills. We shall do this early while keeping their minds active and engaged; I fully recognised in these 10 months that mental focus was the key to healthy mental focus.

These are a few pointers from a friend as he supported his child’s transition into the world of work.

Caroline Mboijana,
Managing Director, The Leadership Team (U)
[email protected]