Prime
A parents’ guide to raising an only child
What you need to know:
- Do not treat them like royalty
- Encourage social interaction
- Foster relationships with family
- Teach them resilience
So much mystery surrounds only children, and it is not hard to see why. For generations, they were as rare as a blue moon; outliers in our society where large families were the norm.
In many cultures, having just one child was seen as unusual, even risky; a deviation from the expectation that families should be sprawling, bustling, and full of siblings. This rarity has made only children something of an enigma, a subject of fascination and, at times, unfair stereotypes.
For instance, it is assumed that they grow up with all the love, all the attention, and let us be honest all the good snacks. From the moment they are born, they are the undisputed stars of their little universes.
While the rest of us are learning the harsh realities of life; that resources are limited, that you have to share, that sometimes you just do not get what you want; the only child is living in a world of abundance. No sibling rivalry, no hand-me-downs, no battles over who gets to sit in the front seat of the car. Just pure, unadulterated attention from parents who are all too happy to spoil their one and only.
But here is the thing; life has a way of balancing the scales. And for all the perks of being an only child, some challenges come with the territory. Challenges that, if not addressed, can turn that little prince or princess into a socially awkward adult who does not know how to share, compromise or handle rejection.
Let us start with the cultural context, because you cannot talk about only children without addressing the elephant in the room. In many parts of the world, having just one child is seen as a risk. In African traditions, one child is often equated to no child at all. If something happens to that child, the parents are left with nothing. No heirs, no support in old age.
Then there is China with its one-child policy. Introduced in the mid-1960s, the policy was designed to curb population growth and accelerate economic development. The result? A generation of “1-2-4” children; single children supported by two parents and four grandparents. These children grew up in a world of privilege, with every need met and every desire fulfilled. But they also grew up without siblings, the natural training ground for social skills, the resilience that comes from learning to share, fight, and makeup.
Here is the paradox of the only child; they have everything, and yet they lack something fundamental. They have all the love and attention a child could ever want, but they do not have playmates, confidants, and rivals that siblings provide. They grow up in a world where they are the centre of attention, but a world that does not revolve around them. Without siblings to teach them the art of negotiation, the importance of sharing, and the value of compromise, only children can struggle to navigate adult relationships. They can become isolated, entitled, or overly dependent on their parents. They can find it hard to relate to others, to handle conflict, or to understand that the world does not owe them anything.
Do not treat them like royalty: Teach them to share and to consider the needs of others.
Encourage social interaction: Enrol them in group activities; sports, music, and drama etc. Let them form friendships, navigate conflicts, and learn teamwork.
Foster relationships with family: Cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, these relationships can fill the sibling gap and provide a sense of belonging.
Teach them resilience: Life is not always fair, and your child needs to learn that early on. Let them experience failure, disappointment, and rejection. It will make them stronger.
Keep it real: The world will not treat your child like the special little angel you know they are.
