Educator and author Jesca Auma Draparako autographs a copy of the play, "They Are God's Blessings". PHOTO/GLORIA IRANKUNDA
For generations in many Ugandan homes sons were seen as heirs, leaders, and protectors while daughters, as future wives. This deeply rooted gender imbalance has shaped not just families but entire communities reinforcing stereotypes that uplift one gender while silencing the other. Yet as society shifts and women continue to rise, a new challenge has emerged: the quiet crisis of the boy child, often left behind in the quest for equality.
Jesca Auma Draparako, the deputy headteacher in charge of administration at Bishop Cipriano Kihangire Secondary School, Boarding Campus, called for balanced support and opportunities for both boys and girls as she launched her book They Are God's Blessings on May 3 at Bishop Cipriano Kihangire Secondary School in Kampala. Shaped by childhood struggles and a deep desire to balance the conversation around gender equity in Uganda’s education system, Auma used the book launch as a platform to advocate for all young people, reminding society that both boys and girls deserve care, love, and equal attention.
Auma's literary work is deeply personal. She recalled how her own family was ridiculed for having only daughters. “We were called a house of prostitutes. They used to say my father was not a real man because he had no sons. I remember an individual once told my mother she was lucky to be in Africa because here, she could make money from us girls, " she reflected. The pain and stigma stayed with her for years, but they also became the driving force behind her poem, “I am not a mere woman,” written during a sleepless night after counselling a mother whose husband had abandoned her for bearing only girls.
Boys need nurturing too
Auma's work has evolved to include the struggles of the boy child, a subject that came to her attention through her role on the school’s disciplinary committee. “I used to think boys could handle anything,” she admitted. “But I started seeing signs of emotional pain. Boys coming to me, heartbroken, unable to cope, and even struggling with self-esteem. One boy came to me with his face full of pimples. He was being mocked. His parents just told him, ‘You are a man, you will be fine.’ But I saw the pain. I bought him skincare products myself,” she recalled.
They Are God's Blessings is a play that emphasises the importance of giving equal opportunities to children regardless of whether they are boys or girls. The play stresses the importance of responsible upbringing of children noting that children are what society makes them regardless of their gender. “The boy child is not okay. We must stop assuming he does not need nurturing,” she stressed. Auma also used her platform to highlight the gaps in social support structures.
“When a mother dies, society does not consider the child an orphan, but fathers struggle too,” she said.
"There was a widower who came to my office in tears. His wife had passed on, and he was struggling to run the family without her. That moment stayed with me,” she recalled. “It made me realise that we often speak about widows, but not widowers. No one seems to ask how they are coping.” She urged educators and parents to reimagine the way society treats children, regardless of gender. “I want my books to be a mirror for families, for teachers, and for communities,” she said. “Let us not raise strong girls and forget the boys. Let us not diminish girls because they are many in a family. Let us raise strong human beings, " she added.
Involve men
As the push for equal rights and opportunities continues, Ms Auma emphasised the importance of men supporting the cause of women. “Those who initially championed women’s rights often gave the impression that women had to prove their equality by mimicking men. But this is not about becoming like men. We are women, and we will always remain women. We each have our God-given responsibilities just as men do. There is no need for us to fight one another, " She explained. With more than 30 years in the education sector, Auna argued that this imbalance in how children are raised has contributed to wider societal problems. “By the time girls are 11 or 12(years old), they can manage a home. Boys, meanwhile, grow up without that sense of responsibility. Then, we complain that there are no responsible men to marry our daughters,” she said with a hint of frustration. For her, the book is a call to action,not just for parents, but also for NGOs, politicians, and teachers.
Hope
Although the idea of writing the play had come to her in 2016, it took years for her voice to be heard. “Nobody was listening then. But now, I see more people thinking the way I do. That is why I decided to publish and launch the book,” she shared. She hopes it reminds people that gender equity begins at home with how sons and daughters are raised. “The boy child is just as vulnerable as the girl child. And unless we give equal attention to both, we cannot build a responsible society of men and women.”
Charles Draecabo, country coordinator at UNESCO, emphasised education, culture, and communication as tools to reshape harmful stereotypes.
“Our cultures carry myths we must interrogate,” he said. “This idea that women are the weaker sex, when we say it, we make it real. The boys hear it and believe they are stronger. It breeds imbalance and violence.” He challenged another common belief: that men should not cry. “We tell them crying is for women,” he said. “So they bottle up their emotions, unable to express pain or seek help.
We are killing the confidence of our boys.” Even more troubling, Draecabo noted, is the widespread assumption that every relationship between a boy and a girl must lead to sex. “Why do we think boys and girls cannot just be friends?” he asked. “In some places, if a girl sleeps under a boy’s roof, even just visiting his sister she is expected to marry him. This is the mindset we must challenge.” He warned that by pouring resources into girl-focused programmes while ignoring the boys, communities may be creating a deeper crisis. “In many areas, boys are losing confidence,” he said.
“They do not volunteer, they do not speak up in class and they feel excluded.” The consequence, Draecabo said, is dangerous. “Some boys now see empowered girls as a threat and seek to punish them by impregnanting and abusing them. Others retreat into drugs, feeling rejected and useless. This is real and it is happening.” Yet there is hope. And for Draecabo, that hope lies in confronting harmful narratives and working toward balance not by neglecting one gender but by empowering both.
