What you need to know:
Many lack the assurance of a dedicated individual interceding on their behalf
I still remember how special the weeks leading to the Uganda Martyrs Day used to feel. Living in a predominantly catholic community, this was arguably one of the most exciting periods in our calendar as we prayed, fasted and beseeched our patron saints to intercede for us. By the time, the day rolled around, we were giddy with anticipation; waiting to see our saints’ intercessions manifest.
Then, we all had patron saints because we lived simple lives and our parents had conventional jobs. Fishermen; though not of NRM variety, builders and teachers all have patron saints. They know whom to go to directly to intercede on their behalf instead of wandering around knocking at different doors for help. But the world has changed a lot since these holy saints gave up their lives.
Due to progress, new professions as well as new problems have been added to our catalogue. I know many of them are believers and often feel lost because they lack that assurance of a dedicated individual interceding on their behalf.
For example, in no particular order, we need a patron saint for everyone whose business or profession requires to give credit. These include landlords, bar owners, private school proprietors, shop owners and government suppliers. For this category of people, they are damned if they extend credit and they are damned if they do not. The easiest way to make enemies or end up bankrupt is getting involved in any of these trades. If anyone needs a saint, then these people do.
The second category of people who need help are people who are dissatisfied with their bodies; either they are too big or small or taller than their ideal height. Others have issues with their skin tone or hair type so there is always an ongoing battle with the end never in sight. All diet plans and body procedures leave a lot to be desired. The bleaching and hair treatments too, never quite hit the spot. And yet the internet tells us we are not doing it well enough and they have perfect bodies to prove it.
Usually, these are the kinds of problems that one leaves into the hands of the forces more powerful than them. This is why we need several patron saints for this group because their need is too big and too critical.
The third category of people who need a powerful saint are bloggers, vloggers, TikTokers, content creators and influencers. With their work space becoming a jungle by day where man will not hesitate to eat man and you your next viral content earns you a bullet, they need divine intervention.
Yes, I am aware that St. Isidore of Seville was nominated patron saint of the internet, but I find it hard to see how a seventh century saint can really grasp the world as it is today.
We also urgently need a patron saint for all prisoners of hope. The faithful who have been promised miracles and breakthroughs that have taken too long, the unemployed, all those people with fruitless trees in their gardens that need to be cut because they are a waste of space but the gardener keeps differing it until the following year, and women dating Stingy Men Association of Uganda (SMAU) members who keep thinking their partners will ever behave as normal human beings.
As rumors of an eminent reshuffle keep flying over our heads, related to hostile handlers and restless constituents, I think ministers and government officials also need a patron saint even if it is for a time.
Also, everyone who seems to be making headway or constantly in the headlines, boda boda cyclists, taxi drivers, private guards, visa seekers and middle East bound workers, among other need someone in higher places watching their back.