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Solutions to top five school holiday modern parenting challenges

Parents must attend to their children fully to ensure they have a productive holiday. PHOTO/COURTESY

What you need to know:

  • Most African homes will ordinarily have members of their extended families stay with them for long periods of time.
  • Some of these are a source of worry for some parents,

The holiday is upon us. And it is a stretched one. Two months probably. Whereas most kids are looking forward to it, I know some parents who wished it didn’t exist. It is not their happy place. Why? The holiday time comes with its own myriads of challenges.

So, I asked some of my fellow parents about these challenges and they shared many but here are the top 5 I have chosen for this column: 

Screen time challenge: 

This was the number one challenge on the list and it is no surprise. “I want my children to use the internet and televisions for learning purposes. Even for entertainment. But most times it is not the case. 

What do I do when it crosses over into entertainment that is destructive to them? How do I keep them safe from invasion of their privacy and innocence? Frankly it bothers me, says Frank and Flower, parents to three dotting daughters.” 

Frank and Flower are not alone in this. This point scored highest on the interview accounting for the challenge with the highest number of worried parents. 

What can you do about it? Limiting screen time for a child depends on their age and other factors. 

According to the American Pediatric Association (APA), children under 18 months should not have any screen time, children 18–24 months should have their screen time limited to video chatting with an adult, or educational programming with a caregiver, children two– five years should be limited to one hour per day (preferably with a parent or in a setting where you are working together), children five–17 years should be limited to two hours per day (not including schoolwork), and children six years and older should be encouraged to use screen time for healthy habits and limit activities that include screens. 

Productivity challenge

This was the number two challenge posted on the list. 

This is essentially about how to keep your children productive in the holiday. 

“In the past, we had gardens, cows, and goats to rear while at the same time making time for the shamba working the plantations. We learned about work ethic early on in life. But now I find it hard to occupy my kids because there is no such work in our urban homes. I find I have to take them to a movie theater to watch a movie or take them swimming or take them to dine away from home. These things are not bad in themselves but I think they miss what we got.” Hakim argues. 

He thinks this is one of the biggest challenges of a modern parent.

What can we do about it? Challenge them to productivity by say teaching them a skill or introducing prospects of making some money (to act as a “carrot” for motivation) if they accomplish a task. I recall that while I was in Primary Seven vacation, I sold in my aunt’s shop. 

Though I was not paid, it was exhilaratingly wonderful for me to take charge of something and be responsible for it. 

Child safety and security challenge

This challenge came in third. As I type this, I have just read a story in the Monitor of a maid from Masaka Municipality who was sentenced by the Masaka Chief Magistrates Court to 35 years in prison for feeding her neighbor’s 10-month-old baby with faeces and urine! What kind of maids to have in your home? 

Relatedly, most African homes will ordinarily have members of their extended families stay with them for long periods of time. Some of these are a source of worry for some parents, “How are they treating my child in my absence? 

Are they molesting or abusing or raping or bullying them?” You worry yourself. Previously, you would worry if the children were in the company of a care taker of a different gender but that now has been thrown out by the stories of sodomy on children by adults we often hear and read about in the news. Children are not safe anymore.

What can we do about it? Have time for your children and have regular conversations with them. 

When the bond is stronger, it might be difficult for another person to take advantage of your child because they know they will report to you. 

Lack of enough space challenge

This challenge made the list at number five. Some people live in small, squeezed up places that pose a big challenge when kids are back home for holidays. 

Large families in small spaces is a common phenomenon in homes in the urban areas especially in slums. 

Sam swears, “I love my kids so much I would jump in front of a train for them any day, any time but holiday time with them in our small house is hard as herding cats. Sometimes I have to move away and stay with my friends for some nights until the kids go back to school.” 

What can you about it? You can declutter or give away stuff that you no longer need or use or you can also arrange stuff into spaces in vertical cabinets or you can use baskets and bins to store many things that at ago. 

My conclusion is this: There are more challenges than I have written down in this article but you can make your holiday season worthwhile by employing these and others as your situation may dictate. 

Financial challenge

Some families are well off they don’t feel the pinch of children staying home for the holiday, but some really get stressed when the kids are back home full-time. They become anxious and stressed and this may affect their emotional, mental and social well-being. “I have three families (average of 5 people) all depending on me. This means 15 mouths to feed every single day, besides taking care of their utilities and welfare expenses. I enjoy it and I have been able t provide well but sometimes I feel the pinch of it when money is not coming in as it should. I have to resort to borrowing from friends and family something I hate most!” says Abdul Rahim.

What can you do about it? You can plan early for the holiday season by say stocking up on essential foods, depending on the size of your family. Remember to provide for some luxuries for the family but stay within the limits of your budget. Also because of increased activity and obligations, your body and mind will need more care than ever so take good care of yourself by getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising regularly, or mismanaged stress can lead you to bad habits such as over eating and drinking.