The things that make one loathe modern-day bride

What you need to know:

  • Bride back then vs today. When one compares the bride from back in the day to today’s, it is a host of differences to notice. This ranges from the make-up, gown to the dance, writes Sylvia Mwesigye.

Growing up, brides were demure, shy but regal. Brides did not make eye contact or smile unnecessarily. Even to the groom, the bride appeared distant and contemplative.

We all stood in awe of the beautiful butterfly that had emerged of yesterday’s. For years the loveliness and grace exhibited by the bride on such a day would be discussed and rediscussed in homes far and wide until such as day, would be repeated by yet another comely bride. But not anymore, brides today are fast and forward that instead of awe and wonder they elicit bewilderment and consternation.

Make-up

Let us start with make-up. Most brides hire someone called a make-up artist that is meant to make her look her best on her special day. Through observation however, most of these artists have not learnt the cardinal law of make-up which is ‘less is more’ and best make-up should be invisible.

And secondly, the purpose of make-up is to enhance your good features while minimising you are not so flattering features. Instead, the bride is often transformed into a ghoulish, ghastly creature  akin to a West African mask or an old Japanese Geisha. The mandatory red lipstick on prominent African lips, drawn angular eyebrows and red ochre face powder often turn the lovely bride into a clown.

The dresses

Most bridal dresses used to be long and had long sleeves covering up the bride’s not so flattering features while accentuating her best features. But not anymore, bridal dresses these days seem to follow a set trend.

Dresses today are tight as can be leaving the brides within inches of suffocation. The emphasis is often on the show of the cleavage and back, leaving  little to the guests’  imagination.

As you will agree, this style does not suit everyone. The very thin bride often looks like a dressed chicken with her bony, skinny arms and back. While the plus size ones end up looking like high end call girls. The slits on the bridesmaids’ dresses have now climbed up to the groin, many times leaving the guests shifting uneasily in their seats.

The music

When you think that things could not get worse, they actually do. These days is also article of faith that the bride and groom will enter the reception with wild dancing and gestulation.

Gone are the days of the gentle music of Here comes the bride, brides of today thrust their hands in the air and grind their groins so much that you sometimes think that they are demon-possessed. I can understand if the bride is a queen dancer in some band or a musician for it would be a shame not exhibit her best moves on such a wonderful day.

But most brides cannot and should not dance even if it was to save their lives but insist that unnecessary, uncalled for and irrelevant and end up denting their image before their in-laws forever.

As a newcomer on a new community often people would be looking your weaknesses and dancing wildly and indecently like your wedding causes people to have a low opinion of yourself and can take years for your image to be corrected.

If you are the next bride please, ask yourself this question: ‘Must we dance?’

Make-up

About today’s bridal make-up

The bride is often transformed into a ghoulish, ghastly creature  akin to a West African mask or an old Japanese Geisha. The mandatory red lipstick on prominent African lips, drawn angular eyebrows and red ochre face powder often turns the lovely bride into a clown.

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