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What fathers wish their daughters knew before marriage
Most fathers tend to have nuggets for their daughters before marriage. PHOTO | SHUTTERSTOCK
What you need to know:
- Father’s Day. Fathers have been known to be protective of their daughters. They want nothing but the best for them. Christine Katende sounds out different fathers on the kind of advice they would give their daughters before getting married.
Sylvester Ssemwogerere, teacher
Thank God and not to take for granted their decision to legalise their relationship because some women are waiting for such in vain. Holy Matrimony is not enough for you to make a happy marriage, be ready to face challenges but above all, stay focused, disciplined and committed to what you did at the start when he chose to settle and have you as his wife. Always emulate the good example of the Holy Family of Nazareth.
The most powerful weapon amid all the challenges in marriage is prayer. God knew you before you were born and by His mercy you are what you are, therefore, He has a good plan for you. Be careful because your mistakes in this new journey will be the advantage of your enemies. Keep your man and marriage well.
Isaac Rucci, musician
Marry your friend. You ought to be willing to go an extra mile, and work things out before you walk out.
Always keep your communication lines open. The truth is these things are known to us but we do not practice them. They almost become cliche but one has to be intentional about the above.
Benon Kigozi, music lecturer, Makerere University
Marriage is a journey that evolves and entrust God with it. What you have now will change as years go by. Patience, understanding, empathy, compassion, and accepting the fact that neither partner is perfect will help you. Always be true to your husband; share your joys and burdens; love much, laugh much and be his best friend.
Always speak well of him, even in private. And when things do not go well, forgive as often as possible. Marriage is a joint adventure. You will always face new and different struggles but you are stronger as a team not individuals.
Robby Muhumuza, communication consultant
Choose someone you love and he ought to reciprocate the love. He should be committed to love you until death parts you.
That person should be able to value and respect your intellect, choices and decisions and not treat you as a child. This will help you live in harmony, minimise unnecessary tension and conflict in marriage to the extent that you or him seek divorce due to “irreconcilable differences”.
As you start the marriage, go with a positive attitude and commitment to put in 100 per cent to make the marriage work. Not just 50 per cent leaving the 50 per cent to your husband. If your husband is also putting in 100 per cent effort too, you will have 100 per cent chances to make the marriage last. A successful marriage is a give and take affair for both the husband and wife, so be flexible where necessary for the sake of your marriage and do not insist on your views or choices all the time.
You need a win-win attitude so that as you are flexible on some choices, your husband too should be flexible on other matters.
Felix Kulayigye, UPDF spokesperson
Only get married to a responsible man who can provide for himself. Marry a man of the same faith. He should be stronger in faith as this will help you in raising a God fearing family. Have respect for your husband because in marriage, respect is very paramount.
Frank Baine, commissioner - Uganda Prisons
The choice of the man matters, choose husband material not a part timer who will run out any time. Marriage is about understanding, patience, compromise and tolerance. Put God at the centre of everything. However, avoid being an investigator, avoid his telephone, do not listen to rumours and do not expect him to be an angel. Always be understanding, caring, mature enough and patient because everyone has got a bad and good day. Live everyday as it comes and be prepared to forgive as many times as possible.
Steven Luyombya, civil engineer
Prayer and trusting God is very important in marriage, having God at the centre of everything will help you overcome many challenges. Communication is key, always check on your husband during the day and share your day’s programme with him.
Both of you should be transparent, understanding and make sure never to compare your man with others because their abilities are different. Take care of yourselves and care for each other always. Keep the fire burning, never stop loving each no matter what happens. Even when children come in, be trustworthy, have self-respect and respect your husband.
Robert Wadda Mulyanga, civil servant
Before preparing my daughter for marriage, we must admit that the way children conduct themselves has changed compared to back in the day. Back then, a girl would share her marriage intentions with her parents or aunt.
Today, by the time she turns to you, she has already conceived or has got children. This happens even before taking a thorough study of who she has chosen to stay with, that is why some girls have ended up as single mothers. However, I would openly tell my daughter to first of all study the man’s family, his background, education, his likes and dislikes as well as faith.
Make sure he has respect, love, care and patience. In the same way do what you would want to get from him, do not expect perfection in him because you are also not perfect. Always discuss your issues humbly to avoid conflict as this will keep harmony and love between you. Trust God to make a way.
Ivan Naijuka, communications manager
You either make marriage succeed or you spoil it. So, go well-knowing that you are two imperfect people going to live together. Stop living a sniper, film-like life. Teach yourselves things that will work for you. Communicate always with your man when things are okay or not. Share everything with your husband because transparency is important.
