Your children ought not to be in retirement plan

When Rachel Kanyerezi completed school and shortly after landed a high profile job, her retired parents were over the moon. Her sickly father said: “Since I invested in your education, it is high time you paid back through meeting my bills. Also, you have to check on us at the weekend.”   
This is not unique to Kanyerezi. Some retired parents believe their children ought to take care of them in retirement. Should it be your children’s responsibility to look after you during retirement?
Barbara Katende, a financial adviser, says when parents look after their children, it is paying forward not backwards.  

“My parents looked after me, so it is my duty to look after my children and my children’s duty is to look after their children not me. However, many parents think otherwise,” says Katende.
 To Katende, considering your children as your retirement plan, is the worst any parent can think of.  She says you are not God to determine your children’s financial status and the kind of job they will end up with. 
 
“Considering your children as your retirement plan is putting a high price tag on them.  As a parent, the best gift you can give to your children is your financial independence, because why should your children complete school and start with the burden of looking after you?” she asks.   
As children grow, she says they too have responsibilities that come along the way, many of which they might not share with you.  
“Making them your retirement plan will hinder their future.  Thus parents need to be considerate and look at what lies ahead of their children before looking at them as assets.”

New families
 Angela Nagujja, a retired medical doctor, says as you plan for retirement, keep your children out of the picture.  As long as they are out of school, do not expect them to stay by your side or give you support every now and then. It is good to know that as your children grow, they have obligations awaiting them.   And these are duties you cannot fulfil on their behalf.  
“Today, my two children have started families; my son has a family to look after and before you, other responsibilities are setting in.  Why should I rely on him for my retirement yet his struggle has just started. Unlike me, there is much awaiting him.”
She also says just like you, your children have financial goals, but with you relying on them all the time, they will never achieve any of them.

Uncertainty
On many occasions, you face uncertainties beyond your control but the last thing you should do is base your retirement on your children’s future.
For example, Nagujja asks, how sure are you that the job your child gets will  afford you a decent retirement home, pay off your loans, or take care of your other necessities?  Besides, how much is he or she earning to divide between you and his or her family bills?   
 She adds that like any other person, your children might run the risk of unexpected job loss, sudden medical emergencies, or underperforming businesses.  

“How, then, are you going to survive for the remaining days of your life? And will you blame them for having failed you? Life is unpredictable, thus plan beyond your children,” Nagujja says.  
You are not your child’s responsibility.
You will need your children’s care and comfort in old age, but you ought to avoid becoming a financial and emotional burden to them.  Reminding them of how you took care of them and how much you spent is manipulative and makes them feel accountable for every event in your life.  

“I have heard parents say to their children, ‘If I had not paid for you, I would be well off.’  Such statements prove that your child is an investment for your future,” Gerald Muguluma, a retired teacher says.   
 He notes that whatever comes from your children is just a gift to express their love, but must not be the only thing you are depending on for survival. Many parents are frustrated at old age because of their unhealthy expectations from their children.
“I think my old age should be to share my experience and wisdom rather than be a burden.   Why should they frown at the sight of my phone calls?”

Prepare early
Christine Ochwo, a retired nurse, says children should come in to help, but where necessary because you know your retirement needs better than anyone else. That is why you need to prepare without your children’s support in mind.
 “Why should you assume your child is the one to fulfil your failed goals?”
 Ochwo advises that while parents are in active employment, they should start preparing for retirement. This way, their retirement is not a burden to their children. 

NUGGET
Plan ahead.  Fred Muhumuza, a financial adviser, says it is not right to wait for retirement to start planning.  As you look forward to retirement, try and write down all that you want to do during that period. “Do not just jump on to skills you did not plan for.  If you are thinking of  helping your community, ask yourself what exactly  you want to do for them, because you are  not  going to do everything in the community,” he advises. 
  With some planning, retirement can be an enjoyable phase of life.