I was stressed but I really take no sugars – Micho

Uganda Cranes coach Micho is a man who loves to reply to challenges. While he said in his statement following a conviction by a South African court that he would make no further statements about ‘sukali gulu’ that is only mined down south, I knew that if goaded he would respond.

So I took a siesta after a heavy duty lunch like I was going to work in a stone quarry. My twin intuition was telling me that the moment I dose off, Micho would come into my inbox with his usual sarcastic and conceited response.

Well, a twin’s intuition is stronger than that phantom feeling women call sixth sense. The Serbian angrily told me that he was back from a sojourn in South Africa and back as Cranes head coach and nothing more or less.

“Some Ugandans think they are more Ugandan than the Historical Fufa president Magogo so they go around spamming social media with calls for me to resign,” Micho said.

“I hear had this happened in England and whatnot... I don’t know if you need reminder that I only subscribe to the Ugandan way of doing things.”
Micho said the only business he does is football, adding that there is no sugar in football.

I asked if he would have resigned had the sentence not been suspended, but for answer, he stared at the framed picture of the Leopard hanging on the wall and chuckled.

“There are his ministers [he jerked his chin at the framed picture] who have been jailed, did they resign?” he asked. “My contract has nothing like ‘when you are falsely accused and erroneously convicted, you must resign’.”

Micho told me to remind everyone thinking he can do what Sam Allardyce did while coaching the English national team that it was him who lifted Uganda Cranes from 39-year wilderness from African Cup of Nations and laid a strong foundation that saw the national team qualify for even the next edition of the continental football. 
“But since my departure, Ugandan football has been going south,” he said.

“Uganda not only failed to qualify for the forthcoming Afcon finals but they had even long forgotten the art of scoring a goal. The Cranes lost to South Sudan and they lost to Malawi.”
I saw his brows narrow and he stammered a bit, missed a few syllables and knew it was time to let him vent.

“It is interesting that there are charlatans thinking they love Uganda more than Magogo and me yet they did not get angry when Uganda lost to South Sudan and Malawi but are busy constipating their minds with calls for Micho to resign.

“I’m already killing a lot of my brain cells on a daily just to think for Uganda Cranes because we need to raise football again. Can you imagine what herculean task it is like to get some of these players to even score in training?

“The other day I had to field players without clubs, I had to field players who were stiffer than medical crutches … it’s a whole lot of new ball game here. A big sacrifice I make yet my pay perks do not include that kind of sugar I’m accused of tapping in South African court.”

Coach Micho said he motivates people around him by making jokes and that it was the reason Uganda was yet to concede a goal in their Qatar 2022 Fifa World Cup qualifiers. 

“I crack a genuine joke, they drag me to court and convict me, but there is NSSF guy cracking endless stale jokes and nobody cares,” he said.

“I feel betrayed, I feel hurt… it really hurts. Uganda’s education has become a joke and yet nobody is in jail for it. Look at your bail law now… wait, are you even listening to you, ungrateful ingrate? Why not jail the bail law? You are only after Micho, eh?”

The Serbian tactician said he was not about to resign like Allardyce over one small matter and because his replacement will be coaches who lose to South Sudan and Malawi.