It’s of grave concern that people are jumping in front of stray bullets

It’s very unfortunate for this nation that everyone is so eager to cite an act of impunity whenever something happens involving public officials. The other day some accused a minister of impunity for raising dust on a dirt road. But cars are not like bicycles that you can climb down and push.

I realise such is the tragedy of a largely young population. In the Era of the Swine, people were not just shot at and taken to hospital, for instance. They were executed for small matters like picking their nostrils in front of an armed officer. 

And, whenever this happened – which was as frequent as a chain smoker lighting a cigarette – their bodies were only last seen by crocodiles in the River Nile.

That was impunity that the current generation can never click. Today, the younger folks really have no shame. When Besigye and his ilk go around calling for boycott of this and that, they praise it. The people even one time boycotted their own vehicles in what they called ‘Walk-to-Work.’

And then when some enemy fuel dealers hike pump prices and the Prime Minister urged the public to boycott such saboteurs of economic progress, they say it is impunity. What exactly is this impunity that everyone seems to know that I don’t?

When the probe report into the November 2020 killings was released, the Big Man analysed it first and agreed with investigators that most of the 54 victims had succumbed to stray bullets. As every expert said those were stray bullets, yo-yo minds kept insisting it was impunity.

You people lose me. As a country, I think it’s time we all are taken to Kyankwanzi since we do not want to do chaka mchaka in school. We need to go there and learn the differences between a live, rubber and stray bullet.

But that is besides the issue. Of grave concern here, however, is that some people have been jumping in front of stray bullets to discredit the government. A bullet is not like a fibre ball used in dodge game (okwepena).

A stray bullet does not understand words like impunity. Those are technical terms used by the Opposition to entice their Western backers into giving them shameless funding that they use to sabotage the progress of this country.

Disliking and opposing the government does not mean you concoct anything you imagine and preach it for the truth in the media. The other day, an army officer in a Prado TX ran out of fuel.

The officer gently parked the car along the road near a signpost. He picked a kadomola and went to buy fuel from his favourite suppliers.

On return, he found the vehicle missing so naturally he called for support to help trace the vehicle before the suspected robbers had broken it into pieces for sale to spare parts dealers in Kisekka and other such black markets.

This is what the Opposition is selling as impunity. We must stop cheap politics. At Kyankwanzi, experts will explain how to tell a stray bullet when you see one coming toward you. After we have learnt to identify a stray bullet and how to avoid it when you see it coming, we will be able to avoid running our mouths wet with claims of impunity.

Surely, a government that condones impunity cannot last long. In 35 years and counting, how do you call that impunity? The Liberation Day is in three days. We will use the day to liberate your minds from uttering rubbish like impunity.

Editor's note: This is a parody column.