Miracle as boy asks for a bullet, given handcuff

Sunday October 25 2020
pp04pix
By Jacobs Odongo Seaman

They said we are living the new normal with abnormality. Quite so with Covid. But methinks the Police have twisted this a notch higher. If this continues, it might instead hurt the spotted animal at a time when the black-and-white of zebra are the rave.

Imagine Police sending their affable top man Kasingye with full blast of siren at Formula One speed all the way to Masaka to just go and apologise to a tear gas victim.
And they follow that up by running to Bulange, Mengo, to say more ahs and uhms for that same action. WTF!
Apparently, the Met Police charged at some Mbogo Clan meeting and trialed their new teargas equipment since the usual Guinea Pig in Besigye is not going around hooded and daring anymore. They allegedly beat up a few chaps and a man in cloak into pulp.

Is that even news? In our banana republic? Since when?
You should be doubly worried when Uganda Police starts running around to apologise for tear gasing a retired bishop. That’s absolutely not the script. From the tentacles of my nostril, I smell a rat. Someone is obviously de-scripting our police narrative. I don’t know if Bobi Wine or Besigye are involved but we’re still investigating.

The official script and narrative should be simple: police deny tear gassing reverend at Buganda clan meeting, to investigate suspicion that the retired bishop’s tear glands discharged too much liquid that has been confused with tear gas.

“We’ve have in custody three men from Masaka who have already confessed to supplying the retired bishop with three drums of liquid for his tear glands.” This is the right script for the presser that our indefatigable police spokesperson would have been reading if not for saboteurs of Police modus operandi.

“The retired bishop was targeting Bobi Wine. He was to discharge the liquid from his pumped up tear glands at Bobi Wine with motive to harm the presidential hopeful and blame the government but we got intelligence tip and swung into action and thwarted the criminal plans,” the statement would add.

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Right now, it is imperative that Leo institutes a swift probe into his security forces. Can you imagine that just days after dropping Kaka, strange things are happening faster than a socialite becoming a virgin?
The other day, this kiddo Rahman Joro was pictured begging to be shot dead instead of being locked up in prison. And guess what? The armed security men just looked on as if they did not understand the plea.

Do these officers think taxpayers fill their rifle chambers with SUHL-fyde instead of bullets? SUHL-fyde is that gas that you discharge when you fart. Don’t bother fact-checking – I’m only ever wrong when someone else is wrong.

That said, the boy wanted to be shot. It’s a shocker that officers who have shot dead guys who did not want to be shot did nothing about it. This is unlike our security forces and it smacks of sabotage somewhere in the script.
The spotted animal likes reeling off scriptures to make his point. Guess which one he would have used to remind his forces to listen to the pleas of the wanainchi and Bazukulu like Joro? Yes, Matthew 7:7.

It says something like, “Ask for a bullet and you will be given, seek death from Police and you will find one, knock at police door and the baton will welcome you. If a muzukulu asks for a bullet, do you give him a handcuff?” (emphasis purely from Police script).

Whoever is de-scripting Police should keep at it until the January-February elections. You never know, we might see the real perpetual election rigger arrested – which is akin to believing Kabareebe is a virgin. 
It’s a twisted cowntry!

Unlikely Plea
Making a point.
That said, the boy wanted to be shot. It’s a shocker that officers who have shot dead guys who did not want to be shot did nothing about it. This is unlike our security forces and it smacks of sabotage somewhere in the script.

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