Rugunda and why the chicken crossed the road

Sunday September 05 2021
pp03pix

Former PM Ruhakana Rugunda distanced himself from having interests in presidency in 2026. PHOTO/ILLUSTRATION

By Jacobs Odongo Seaman

Years ago when Fabiola was still a toddler and Zari just a Kirigwajjo at PMM Girls School, a daily used to run a crispy anti-humour column under the tagline, ‘Why did the chicken cross the road?’

The gag, a common riddle joke with roots to the 1840s spreadsheets, used to go with rib-cracking answers tagging mainly politicians.

But now Fabiola is fabulous and an object of attention among the large Geisha soap clientele and Zari has refused to age. Yet the chicken still crosses the road. To do what?
Perhaps we ask Rugunda.

The man who was affably called Ndugu before he was drawn into distributing hoes to voters during 2016 elections woke up with a start from his siesta midweek.

The chicken in his head urged him to cross the road fast and put the record straight that he has no intention to start a ‘parallel project.’

In the two seconds it took Chicken Rugunda to cross the road whilst even jumping over potholes with the                               finesse of Peruth Chemutai hurdling away, several images flashed into his mind. 

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They were not good images, to be honest, and we will spare you the detail since Draru is free and probably idle.

Pigs
Poor things! Chicken Rugunda might have been terrified but imagine the pigs… With the mayhem in Massacre City, the pigs had to cross the road. 

But that did not stop the people who specialise in pointing fingers at pigs from doing so.
Why did the pigs even cross the road instead of leaving Chicken Rugunda to do it alone? Word is that the animals were just terrified and found themselves at the other end shivering like Rugunda.

Shoprite 
It was time to pull out of business in East Africa and Shoprite had to cross the road to announce that not even their chicken section will remain open.

Abdu Lumala 
The Uganda Cranes winger, a revelation from Afcon 2019 campaign in Egypt, was very angry with the decision to knife him from the national team. He crossed the road and climbed the social media rostrum to declare that he would not be involved with the national team again.
Lumala must be a terrible chicken. He thinks Magogo will even care when the Budiope man just got his re-selection project approved by the Fufa Assembly?

Silverbacks 
These ones had to cross the boulevard itself. They first stopped at the island to announce that things were so bad they were on the verge of washing plates at Park Inn Hotel by Radisson in Kigali because Fuba sent them for Afrobasket on credit.
From the road island, they implored ‘Mama’ to come to their rescue. Then they crossed over to the other side and walloped giants Nigeria. 

They could have packed and returned home with defeat but these guys seem to enjoy the idea of washing plates. Or living on credit. 

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