Rukaari blames Kasenene for fading memory

What you need to know:

  • But there has been an exception and Members of Parliament found this in a very bizarre circumstance. One of their own, Robert Rukaari from Mbarara North, exhibited to them that the food you eat can either make your memory or make you the memory in other people’s heads.

Nutritionists always say you are what you eat. Most times, however, they use this to mock that guy with a pair flapping on their chest like Balokoole cheering their pastor for saying “you’re alive because you eat.”

But there has been an exception and Members of Parliament found this in a very bizarre circumstance. One of their own, Robert Rukaari from Mbarara North, exhibited to them that the food you eat can either make your memory or make you the memory in other people’s heads.

What we don’t know is if blaming Dr Paul Kasenene, the famous Twitter nutritionist, will make sense at this point. But Rukaari actually blamed Kasenene although he could not remember exactly for what.

After reports that the businessman cum legislators had told a parliamentary committee that he had forgotten the bank he used to pay for the purchase of the Uganda Railway Corporation land in Nsambya, we sought the MP for a clarification and he did not hold back.

I asked if he had been misquoted on reports that he had acquired three plots of land belonging to URC in Port Bell and Mulago at Shs357million in 2009 yet he could not recall how he purchased them. Rukaari excused himself, saying he had a call to answer.

After like five seconds of taking the seemingly wrong call, he returned to the interview table and gulped a glass of what.
“You were saying…?” he said more like a question than a statement.
“Were you misquoted or is it true that you have forgotten the bank you dealt with in 2009?” I asked.

“Where? By who? Me?” he shot back.
“According to Cosase, you…”
“That must have been long ago, it’s not easy to recall accurately what transaction I carried out with the man called Cosase but I can crosscheck with my secretary and accountant later,” he said.

Now, this was a little confusing but we had to push through. I corrected him on Cosase and he smirked like a very broke smoker trying to borrow a cigarette in a cold weather.
“You know I’ve a little problem recalling all such details especially when under a pressure environment like in a probe,” Rukaari said.

“Oh, sorry to hear about that. Since when has this problem been?” I asked.
“What problem?”
“You just said you have a problem remembering things under pressure.”
“Ah, that! But did I really tell you this?”

“Okay, let’s do this. Have you consulted the famous Dr Kasenene?”
“No, no, no! I was not on the Uganda Airlines plane when those guys were doing their nsenene things but I can assure you that was wrong. I’ve not been to Entebbe since news filtered in that China was taking over.”

Now I laboured to explain who Kasenene was and the good MP rolled his eyes as if a blank cheque was being peeled for his pleasure.

“He told me many foods to eat to keep the memory sharp,” Rukaari said.
“Like what foods?” I asked.
“I don’t know. But most of the things he recommended were tasteless. I mean, how do you remember such?”
“So you didn’t eat any?”

“I was busy trying to figure out how a mouse can cost Shs8m and if the UPDF will catch a lot of mice in Congo during the latest incursion. But come to think of it, I must have eaten things that Kasenene recommended and then my memory started going kaput.”

“But Dr Kasenene recommends foods that are supposed to help, not mess you up.”
“But who is this Kasenene. Man, those MPs have already messed me enough. Can we end this, please?”