Alien Skin says he wants to meet the minister of Internal Affairs over Uganda's Citizenship and Immigration Control Act.
Recently, Alien Skin was left confused after he was declared a Ugandan and his skin was designated as a foreigner. After all, his skin is alien and what lies beneath it is as Ugandan as Beef luwombo.
He is a two in one, like a pregnant woman. Indeed, he claims to be pregnant with ideas on how service awardees can be awarded service. Accordingly, he has alienated NUP founder and leader Bobi. And so he is wondering why the NUP boss cannot be declared an alien. If his activities are declared illegal, he could be denounced as an illegal alien and thus deported immediately.
Then a wall, paid for by Mexico, can be erected around Buganda, after which a sign leading to Buganda, which says “Push”, can be put on the wall and thereby prohibit Bobi from trying to ‘Pull’ any crowds inside his supposed stronghold. He would not stop there, Alien Skin added.
Thanks to his half-alien self, the Sitya Danger singer was able to partially live abroad long enough to learn new things. One of things he learnt was that Kenneth Sean "Ken" Carson Jr was a fashion doll introduced by American toy company Mattel in 1961 as the counterpart of Barbie, who had been introduced two years earlier.
In the Barbie mythos, Ken met Barbie on the set of a TV commercial and is her boyfriend, as almost depicted in the 2023 Barbie film. However, Alien Skin has noticed that Barbie is no longer with Ken. She has apparently disguised herself as a Black woman and is married to Bobi.
To shake things up a little, Alien Skin plans to reunite Ken with Barbie so that Bobi is left unmarried. This will further make him unpopular. That’s because Ugandan voters are conservative and believe their candidates for high office must be married. I mean, if you can’t run a home, how can you run a country? That is what Ugandans usually ask.
Besides, the last senior bachelor who took part in presidential politics didn’t even vote for himself. He instead elected to wear a white and black 'shirt dress' as his signature attire, living for years as a fashion criminal.
Alien Skin also plans to get money from the Church by elongating his surname from Skin to Skinner. This, he believes, will bag him and his Democratic Alliance (DA) colleagues all the ‘Savedee’ voters this side of eternity. There are more than four million of them countrywide. If he can grow longer dreadlocks, he will be known as Rasta Skinner and sweep the Gen Z vote as he picks up Watoto as followers.
Allied to these campaign-winning ideas, he also plans to advise the DA principal to spell the initials of the party’s name backwards and thereby instantly AD instead of subtracting supporters. It is a brilliant idea, if the government does not add an F (after the D) to those initials and thereby list the new Movement as a terrorist organisation.
Furthermore, as an Alien, he learnt something about Japanese culture. The Japanese say you have three faces. The first face, you show to the world. The second face, you show to your close friends and your family. The third face, you never show anyone. It is hidden.
Alien Skin has compared these three faces to the three arms of government. He says the first face, the one shown to the world, is Parliament. This creates the impression that the people are in charge. The second face, the one shown to friends and family, is the Judiciary. That is because it deals with anatomical constitution of each friend and family member. Lastly, the third face is the Executive because the government seems to have a hidden agenda to keep Mzee in power forever.
Taken together, these faces can be defaced thrice since good things come in threes, such as the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, mind-body-soul connection, the three acts of a typical story and the NRM’s birth-life-death cycle.
