The chief coordinator of Operation Wealth Creation (OWC), also known as bulletproof during the Bush War and Gen Kapeka after it, has confirmed that he will be teaming up with Bobi Wine to produce a song promoting OWC initiatives and celebrating 2025.
In a letter addressed to the president of the Uganda National Musicians Federation (UNMF) and the Uganda Musicians Association (UMA), Gen Kapeka said the song will be written by Hon Mbidde. However, the monarch of the unibrow did not confirm or deny that he will be writing the song. Instead, he said such a song would be ‘lugubrious’.
“It will be all bummer, woebegone, forlorn to savour the Yatch Life and quite doleful. Woeful whammy as the mishanter it is and will remain even when Diddy-fied to promote love and not contretemps,” said the unibrow master.
Impressed, Gen Kapeka insisted that music requires such oversized words in order to enlarge the chances of composing a hit song. He agreed that it would be ‘all bummer’ if the opposite were true.
Gen Kapeka has recently been in the news for closing the tap which made Shillings rain on musicians to the extent that their personal fortunes went from Katono to Ka-ching. It was an impressive leap, some of it elevated by cheques with swag. These are, in particular, cheques which bounce.
The Gen was adamant that artistes waste his time. Once, when the blinding sun spilled into his office, he asked one artiste to draw the curtain and the man reportedly pulled out a pencil and paper to start drawing!
This person was the senior presidential advisor on creatives, a man rumoured to be all ‘Stamina’ and modest English. It was a low point. That is why Gen Kapeka thought some hard-charging English by the Lord of the unibrows would not only spruce up the creative sector of the economy, it would also give him the chance to talk to somebody who knows what Kakwenza meant when he called the Gen’s brother superannuated.
Still, deep inside, Gen Kapeka believes big words are for big mouths. Why can’t people just keep things simple? A word that is not monosyllabic is a word to avoid. That is why he using words like ‘ha’, when used more than once it turns to laughter…all the way to the bank. Whereas the word ‘musician’ is multisyllabic, like the word ‘Boonabagagawale’, and both result in the emptying of his deep pockets.
‘Bobi’ is a monosyllabic word, like cash. So it can only be a boon to work with the NUP boss. However, when contacted, Bobi proposed that the song be titled ‘Removing a Dictator.’ Of course Gen Kapeka was not happy with the NUP supremo’s song title because, he says, ‘Consolidating the gains’ would be a better title.
Ragga Dee, an artiste about to release a new song titled the ‘Letter Oh No’ to decry the financial woes of musicians, agreed with Gen Kapeka. So it was him and the Gen versus Bobi in a Ragga Dee-mocracy, that spells a win for the Gen.
Besides, OWC is aimed at stamping out poverty. It was launched by Mzee in July 2013 as an intervention to efficiently facilitate national socio-economic transformation, with a focus on raising household incomes and wealth creation by transforming subsistence farmers into commercial farmers to end poverty.
Sure, musicians are not farmers. But they do deal in livestock since they can complain until the cows come home. They are also lost sheep, which wandered into the NRM fold, only to be enfolded by more problems than they can count.
The real reason that they were contacted to begin with is to serve as a counterweight to NUP. This was their remit. Sadly, most of them thought they were there to make money endlessly. So they reportedly lined their pockets instead of reading between the lines to tow the NRM line.
Now, they have been cast adrift on the red sea of popular discontent as coloured by NUP. Consequently, the only two musicians left standing are Bobi and Mzee. Collaboration by them, with Mzee as lead singer, might ensure both remain relevant enough to cement a two-party state, otherwise known as Uganda.
