Uganda angry after neighbour exhibits Source of River Nile at Dubai Expo

There are many who have read just the headline and drawn their conclusions already. Some have already thrown stones. Others are frothing at the corners of the mouth and chances of a General reminding the world via Twitter that his father is the greatest liberation hero the world has seen are also high.

This is also what happened at the Dubai Expo. We saw that milk product exhibited on wooden pallets dressed with clothing ware that both the Congolese and the Masai have disowned and jumped to conclusions.

Ugandans went into a meltdown of discussing pavilion, something that left Bad Black baffled because all along she thought a pavilion was that cherished chalice that has made her famous. She has been wondering how her ‘pavilion’ was being exhibited in Dubai while she is in Kampala, moreover, without her consent.
It’s called rape even in a compromised court.

That is the tragedy of reading only the headline and picking stones to throw. You end up confusing people who think that pavilion is euphemism for ‘that one’ and that Kabuura is in Kigali for another exhibition in the French speaking country.

However, this vice is as endemic as corruption is to Uganda. I mean, the vice of reading the cover and drawing wild conclusions. As Ugandans made noise the other day, government officials were drawn into defensive mode. 

They claimed that the pavilion or stall of the ‘Peril’ of Africa had been voted the third best overall at the Dubai Expo. This was long before the expo was over and how that voting came about, I doubt even the Panama Papers that exposed our dear Jim can explain.

What is certain is that the ‘Peril’ of Africa had been third on the exhibition list after UAE and another Arab country. 
Now, given how Uganda exhibited terribleness in Dubai, perhaps we should next time contract the real guys who have excelled at exhibitions. We have so many ‘musicians’ whose music one can only listen to after seeing their semi-naked exhibitions on Instagram. We also have Bad Black who in all fairness would be the face of a top university on the land, marketing its interests.

Now, Bad Black has not only exhibited pavilions in the past but also helped Dr Jane Ruth Aceng spread the message on Covid-19 pandemic. She did well then and if she had been given just one-tenth of that Shs3b blown up in Dubai, she would have been quick to recommend that Uganda exhibits Dr Ogwang’s wonder cure.

Replace that milk with Covidex and I tell you no one would have focused on the ugly ‘lesu’ on wooden pallets. Bad Black would have explained to the Crown Prince and any visitor to now our pavilion – and not just hers alone – that Covidex needs to be stored in cool temperatures that only wood and funny bitenge can provide.

People out there are drinking camel and crocodile milk and you take to them cow milk just because a cow shares the initial C with camel and crocodile? That is just corruption of creativity and we know corruption also has Letter C.
Yes, it’s true we exhibited corruption without spelling it out since it was shouting for all to see. But while at it, shouldn’t we also let the world know that the longest river in the world has its foot in Jinja?

Surely, we can’t be waiting for John Speke to market our tourism potential better than we have been pretending to do a century later.

With those guys up north fighting over the Nile waters, maybe it’s time some neighbouring country claimed its source just to make this article’s headline relevant.

If you have read this far, thank a teacher.
Happy Teachers Week!

This is a parody column