Francis Babu, Awori et al… Who needs you in Parliament?

No. My article of last Sunday, “Five MPs for ‘elderly’ are a useless Bunch”, was not about (former Hon) Aggrey Awori. It was about (Former Hon) Francis Babu. Some people add the dubious title of ‘Captain’, which is completely wrong in fact and in form. 
The title ‘Captain’ only features as part of one’s name in the militaries (army, navy, air-force), for an officer next below the rank of ‘Major’.
The leading sailor of an ordinary (non-naval) vessel, or the leading pilot of a non-military aircraft, is the ‘captain’ for that particular voyage or flight. Otherwise, it is no better than a malwa title.
Over the years, our rulers, Obote, Amin and Museveni, have greatly elevated the macho character and the soldier-type. At play, many kids make toy guns and fight mock battles. It is possible that people like Babu and Mike Mukula sometimes spot this fake title because it invokes associations with the military. In our society, that connection -  even if unwarranted – is expected to add some weight to your standing as a serious person.
In these remarks about titles, I have been digressing. The issue that left many readers curious was simply whether it was Aggrey Awori I had in mind, which I have answered.
I had decided not to name Babu to avoid personalising the matter. The endless story of Uganda’s electoral shenanigans is not something for one or two alleged villains. It is usually systematic and on an industrial scale, involving thousands of actors.
It was by pure coincidence that Sunday Monitor carried the story about Aggrey Awori’s candidature (also for the elderly) on the same day.
However, now that he is in the frame, we should give him a bit of what he wants: attention.
Awori was a member of the notorious 1980s UPC. The party’s machinations at the centre of Ugandan politics were the very definition of barbarism. Rigging the 1980 general election was the trigger that fired off Museveni into the bush on a mission to address those machinations.
When Museveni triumphed, Awori et al variously fled into exile, took a low profile in their villages, or licked their wounds in the precincts of Uganda House. Some attempted armed rebellion.
If my memory is not completely rotten, Awori was one of those noisy trouble-makers whom the NRM leadership used to ominously warn could be dispatched to six-foot pits, and nothing would happen. The bitterness was so raw, so thorough.
That was thirty-five years ago. Slowly, the wheel of evil has been turning. In the intervening years, Awori went to Parliament as a UPC member before pandering to the ruling NRM.
Thity-five years later, the wheel of evil has reached the station where UPC left it. Awori has rejected the primaries in his NRM. He will not even enter the process, because he expects it to be rigged! He will contest as an Independent.
Awori, you are deluded. Apart from your family members, and imbeciles, and the swarm of opportunists who hover like flies around all Uganda’s politicians, there is no Ugandan who has reached their retirement age and are of sound mind who gives a damn whether you stand as UPC, NRM or independent.
Awori, Babu and others have seized this new window, from where they can peddle their delusions, but they have absolutely no value to add to Parliament.
Given a chance – or even just half a chance – the supposed beneficiaries, the elderly, those who are not imbeciles, would pour ashes in your mouths.

Mr Tacca is a novelist, socio-political commentator.
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