To milk God for money, worship the President
Alan Tacca
Poor God; always dignified, but silent; in whose name many masquerade as prophets. Aware of that silence, President Museveni long ago drove and parked his tanks “next to God”. If I recall correctly, he made the declaration while doing something involving Makerere University people. Not peasants.
So these people would quickly understand that if God was silent or hard to find, appealing to the President would be close to the ideal thing. And Covid-19 has demonstrated how correctly Museveni ranked himself.
From the harsh lockdown instructions in March, virtually all Ugandans follow the President like sheep. The errant ones are appropriately whipped by his LDUs or otherwise reprimanded. The unlucky ones who get killed during the enforcement are like the unlucky ones who get killed in hurricanes.
Like collateral damage, there is existential damage: to exist constitutes taking a risk. Those who die through an act of God do not return to sue. Similarly, those who are cut down because of the President’s Covid-19 instructions should expect no redress. Pregnant women may die because their attendants are obeying a Covid-19 rule. He who gives is the one who takes away.
The men of God have been thanking the President – oh, and God – for keeping Ugandans safe until you are sick. The President must be walking on top of himself, a smile of triumph behind his mask. Periodically, he turns his State residence into a temple area and summons the men of God for worship. They run faster than they would run if invited to the great sees in Rome or Canterbury.
After God’s magical work in Genesis, biblical storytelling turned to presenting God as a judge, a king-maker, a war deity and a nation builder; and a kind of super king Himself, with His throne in Heaven.
Just as God was modelled on earthly absolute rulers, earthly authoritarian rulers often mould themselves in the template of God. I was not redundant enough to follow the live broadcast of the worship event at State House on Saturday last weekend. However, at his three-man Sunday 6:30am talk-show on Impact FM, Joseph Sserwadda reported on the proceedings.
Apparently, the leaders on the Inter-Religious Council prayed on different themes specified by State House. Joshua Lwere and Sserwadda represent some of the many rivalling Pentecostal groups, and both men had prayed. On Sunday, Sserwada greatly praised Lwere’s prayer, but immediately attacked the same Lwere for not praying (or demanding) that places of worship be opened.
Then Serwadda replayed his own prayer – wouldn’t he? Turning and rolling eloquently to pour praise and flattery on the President and his Covid-19 experts, Sserwadda had prayed the President to open places of worship.
Churches in Uganda are a big commercial enterprise. After five months of the lockdown, the truth is as stark as humble pie. God, the accepted brand and their supposed patron, is dignified but utterly silent. The man to be worshipped and begged is the next in rank, the President of the Republic.
However, President Museveni cannot open churches and withstand the pressure to open political campaigns ahead of 2021. Whether in the NRM or the Opposition, politicians and religious leaders agitating for opening the churches are his enemies. They are imposing on him the choice between serving his personal political interest and bowing to the supremacy of God.
But as long as God remains silent, Museveni can enjoy the power and the pleasure of being President and de facto Divine. After all, God Himself has also not opened the churches.
Mr Tacca is a novelist, socio-political commentator.
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