On the audio clip heard around the country and its non-secrets

By Bernard Tabaire

That audio clip.
People said to be diplomats at one of Uganda’s missions in Europe are heard in an audio recording swapping ideas on how to eat government money.

Daily Monitor broke the story last week. Then the clip made its happy rounds on social media.
The Ministry of Foreign Affairs has promised an investigation. So, for now, we do not have all the facts.

Fact or fiction, the recording is remarkable, and it allows us to muse on public sector corruption.
The clip has people talking casually and confidently about up divvying up government money amongst themselves. They are fully aware they could get caught. So, they also discuss how do harambee to bribe the auditors.

The happy atmosphere in which the scheme is discussed, participatory style, is instructive. It reveals things we know, but again when you hear the whole plot being mapped out, you still haha, as we say in UG street-speak.

One, that stealing government money is a most ordinary thing to do. This happens all the time, don’t you know? You can actually convene a baraza to discuss the mechanics of it. There is democracy among thieves.
Two, that you need a network to pull of these acts.

Auditors get bribed to look the other way when they encounter jumbled up accounts. Someone, while still working in the ministry of Finance at a senior level, said to me once that some of the people who sign off on the budgets ensure the money they will steal is provided for in there somewhere.

The networks are extensive.
Three, the attitude that government money is no one’s money is pervasive. And if that money is no one’s money in particular, then the official handling it might as well make it his or her own.

Four, there is a corruption-enabling environment. For all the efforts to fight corruption, people are not scared enough. This is partly because corruption starts on high and many of the corrupt are protected. There are double standards. Some pay tax, some are enabled to dodge taxes. Some are caught and exonerated for stealing, some are punished. In this ambivalent environment, officials are enabled to take their chances. You live life once.

Five, the punishment is not deterrent enough, if at all. Slap-on-the-wrist type punishment won’t fight corruption. Either we let corruption be and hope the thieves will be nice enough to invest in Uganda and create a multiplier effect in the economy, or we fight it the China way. Don’t slap the wrist. Cut off the wrist.

The intriguing thing about the audio clip is why it was leaked. What was the leaker’s motive? Was the person unhappy with the portion she or he was getting? If there is democracy among thieves, there is also dishonour.

Or maybe this was a patriotic Ugandan who decided to step up? We still have men and women of conscience in the system, after all.
If the audio turns out accurate, it will debase the Ugandan diplomatic service. It will also encourage further public cynicism in the anti-corruption efforts.

A small step to correct things, somehow, would be to conduct a forensic audit of all missions while ensuring that the auditors don’t get bribed. On that basis, launch wide-ranging reforms touching on quality of personnel and systems. It is unlikely these sorts of things will happen because, well, corruption, petty and grand, is the way of life in large sections of the public sector.

The people said to be talking in the clip could also go on some charm offensive. It may be too late, but worth a try. They should release a couple of recordings with them at a baraza talking about the great opportunities Uganda offers and how to market them to the rest of the world, starting with Europe. We want to hear them argue passionately about strategy. That may not save careers, but it would be wonderful to hear.

Mr Tabaire is a media trainer and commentator on public affairs based in Kampala. [email protected]
Twitter:@btabaire