Beware of burglars who enter your house through fibre-optic cables!

Last year, men in overalls arrived in our village in pick-up trucks and announced they were there to put in electricity lines. This was surprising. About two years earlier, the President had announced, in one of his big national speeches, that the entire country was now connected to electricity, including our village in Buyende.

Few locals had listened to the big speech because, as you might guess, they had no electricity, radios or televisions. But word had somehow gotten round that there was electricity in the air, but it was only visible to non-sinners.

Anyway, it was a pleasant surprise. The men in overalls approached my old man at his farm and informed him that they needed to cut down several of his Mvule hardwood trees for an easement for the power lines. Was it reasonable for him to expect some compensation for his trees, the few remaining in what was once a heavily forested area, and use of his land, he asked politely?

No, said the men in overalls who had arrived in pick-up trucks. They were delivering a public good, and “bringing development closer to the people”. Mzee had to take one for Buyende FC. And he did. The trees were cut down, poles planted, power lines connected.

A few months later, the electricity started flowing through the lines. Mzee approached the men in overalls who had arrived in pick-up trucks and asked when they would connect power to his farmhouse, which had already been wired in anticipation.

The men in overalls who had arrived in pick-up trucks spoke with sparks flying. Mzee would need to buy a pole, wires and other paraphernalia to extend power to his farmhouse, and also pay for labour. Total cost? About Shs2 million.

Mzee reminded the men in overalls that when they first arrived in pick-up trucks, they had cut down his trees worth a lot more, and planted poles on his land without offering any compensation. Was it too much to ask for his farmhouse to be connected? The men in overalls entered their pick-up trucks and told Mzee to call them once he had the cash ready.

So we finally have electricity in our village, but it is up in the air for Mzee. We hear these connections were supposed to be free, and that Uganda even has a surplus of electricity, and Mzee is one of the few households that would be guaranteed to pay for power, but none of that matters to the men in overalls, who came and went in their fancy pick-up trucks. Sometimes you can bring development closer to the people, but you can’t bring people closer to development.
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Let us stick with utilities or, more appropriately, the futility of utilities. A few months ago, someone I know installed Airtel Broadband at a property in the outskirts of Kampala. The download speeds were relatively fast, yes, but the data drained even faster.
The pre-installed 51 gigabytes lasted a few days, which was surprising, but didn’t raise too many eyebrows because it was ‘free’.

Then they bought 100 gigabytes, which were gone in about a week. The customer was confused; 20 gigabytes data on Airtel Mobile usually took them through the better part of a month, even with heavy usage, so they asked Airtel for a breakdown.
The Airtel folks gave a daily account of how much data was used, but not details of where it was used. The client asked for details; the telecom folks said they couldn’t share those details because, wait for it, “client confidentiality”!

Anyway, recently, the client bought a 50-gigabyte bundle, reset his stats, and started using the service. After a few days, they checked the modem, which showed that they had used about 30 gigabytes, leaving a balance of 20 gigabytes. But when the client checked the billing system, it showed that they only had 10 gigabytes left.
They contacted Airtel customer support and got the run-around.

They just couldn’t answer the simple question: Where was the ‘missing’ 10 gigabytes? The client reached out to other people in the organisation who dutifully expressed their shock and promised that the right people from the Broadband department would get in touch. No one did.
Some burglars climb into houses through windows; the Airtel Broadband chaps come via fibre-optic cables!

Mr Kalinaki is a journalist and poor man’s freedom fighter.
[email protected] @Kalinaki