Majoring in minors and the fate of the nation

In my village we say: when your house is burning, you focus on saving your valuables, you don’t chase rats fleeing the flames. Uganda is a deeply polarised country. We all have a duty to save our country from fragmentation. But when you watch news on TV you wouldn’t get the impression that the risk of fragmentation is a matter of grave concern.
 Instead, you see and hear the talking heads engrossed in arguments about propositions they don’t make clear. Like most Ugandans, these media intellectuals have chosen to major in minors and those of us who should know better tag along.

After the elections, I made a choice to self-isolate myself from the media. For one month I was off the internet, I didn’t watch TV, I didn’t listen to the radio, didn’t read newspapers and was off social media. 
But even with recollections of former president Binaisa who famously said Kampala is a City of Seven Hills and seven rumours a day, one cannot imagine the kind of things people I thought to be serious were talking about. I heard people hyperventilating about an American military ship docked in Mombasa with the intention to invade Uganda, oust its government and install a leader of their own choice. Really?

The media was awash with coverage of the docked ship and innuendos of the pending invasion. Morning talk show hosts inundated us with details of the ship, how many jet-fighters and helicopters it can carry, the missile launchers on board and the distance the missiles can cruise. Some commentators opined that the missiles can hit targets as far away as Kampala from Mombasa. Others linked the presence of the ship to the visit of the envoy of the Chinese president to State House Entebbe. The indefatigable talking heads in our media reported that the Uganda government had sent an SOS to China to help deal with the threat posed by the American ship!

But there’s a serious part to the US ship. At midnight on February the 10, US Navy through its Twitter handle announced that “Continuing its 2021 African coast deployment and being the first US Navy ship to enter the port in over a decade, USS Hershel Woody Williams arrives in Mombasa, Kenya.” 

The stated goal of the deployment is safety of vessels that ply the waters off the coast of Africa. This deployment came two months after the head of the US Africa Command met the Kenyan President. When that announcement from the US Navy came, a Ugandan tweeted this: “Please don’t just let it stay idle. Put it to use and destroy Museveni’s army bases, it’s just a small clique but it has kept more than 40 million Ugandans in captivity.” 

The discussions on radios show that she wasn’t alone. Some Ugandans naively believe that democracy can come by way of foreign invasion! Talk about desperation. The kind that made people eat soil from the banana plantation of one Nanyonga who peddled it as a cure for HIV/Aids!
And then news broke of the arrival in Uganda of an armoured SUV - a gift to the NUP leader by Ugandan well-wishers in the diaspora. For days one couldn’t avoid news of this acquisition. 

The new vehicle had more baby sitters than the parking space could allow. Videos were circulated showing pilgrims basking in its presence. Some videos showed young men giving the vehicle a bath with tender loving care. A newly elected MP was filmed extolling the magical feats the vehicle can accomplish. It has a voice activated door lock! It can sense any danger to its owner as far away as 200 kilometres. But it was the owner who delivered the coup de grâce when he stated in a press conference that the celebrated vehicle came aboard the American military ship!
The ship will continue moving between the Horn of Africa and the Cape and perhaps curving westward on Vasco da Gama’s footsteps. 

In the meantime the citizens of Uganda need to get practical answers to the question of whether we shall see peaceful change of government in our lifetime! For that to happen, elections are necessary but insufficient.

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