Parents should empower children to report abuse

Parents and caregivers play an important role not only in protecting but also empowering children to report any forms of abuse against them more than the former actually realise.

In Uganda, child abuse cases are still common, especially if one is to go by the available reports, despite efforts made by government in partnership with different players like non-governmental organisations and development partners to promote children’s wellbeing in the country.

For instance, the Uganda Child Helpline (UCHL) March 2020 report revealed that sexual abuse was the third most reported form of child abuse contributing 20.1 percent of all the cases (98 percent of the victims being girls and 17 percent of the perpetrators being family members, including fathers, cousins and uncles).

Other forms of child abuse, according to different reports include child labour, neglect, torture, among others.

Previous studies conducted in Uganda have noted that child abuse victims are at higher risk of a multitude of adverse health outcomes (depression, suicidal behaviour, risky sexual behaviours, death) as well as poorer educational/employment outcomes later in life.

I have worked with young people for more than five years, and one of my key observations is that all these young people crave close positive relationships with their parents/guardians.

During dialogues with them (young people), they are encouraged to ask any questions regarding their health, education, rights, and general well-being.

Some of the most repetitive questions include ‘if someone is forcing me to have a sexual relationship with him or her, who should I tell?’  ‘If a relative is forcing me to have sex with them, what should I do?’  ‘If a child is defiled, where should he or she report?’  ‘If my parents are forcing me to get married, where should I report to?’

They would be advised to talk to their parents first for any kind of support or advice, and the parents in turn would support them to report to local leaders or police in case it is a crime-related case.

To my dismay, many said they preferred confiding in their friends, neighbours and teachers, and not their parents.

Asked why, they said those mentioned above are keen to listen and advise them without being judgemental.

Meanwhile, many teenagers said they feared to tell their parents whatever difficulties they may be going through due to fear of being ridiculed, judged, adding that some parents are rude, very tough, and violent, which makes it hard for many children to fear approaching such parents.

Then there were those who had good relationships with their parents, and were excited to share their experiences.

I remember one girl standing up confidently, smiling and saying: “I have the best relationship with my parents. they always look out for me. Every time I want to make a decision, or I am faced with any challenges, like young boys disturbing me, I tell my parents about it and they give me advice. With their support, I have been able to make good decisions in life.

As a parent/caretaker, you should be your child’s friend so that in case anything is bothering them, you’re the first person they think of talking to.

You can do that by being actively involved in their lives. Be present, spend quality time with them, intentionally listen to them and allow them to express their views/emotions. Don’t be overly tough and critical.

As parents, continue to aim at building better relationships with your children. Let your children know you are part of the larger group working to find solutions to problems affecting them, and not conspiring against them.

Ms Vivian Agaba is a journalist, and consultant writer/editor.

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