Tighten your belts, parenting just got tougher

Author: Angella Nampewo. PHOTO/FILE

What you need to know:

‘‘ Times are changing and the parenting challenges are also evolving fast”

As an unmarried young woman moving out of my parents’ house, my mother gave me only one piece of advice. “Do not share a house with girls”. In hindsight, that was very forward-thinking. 
Years later, as I look at news reports of girls fighting, houses burning, I start to think that perhaps due to that and similar timely advice, I dodged a few bullets. This is not to say that I have bad friends, my mother just needed to cover all her bases.

There is no complete handbook on parenting, at least none that offers solutions for every situation as you raise your children. Times are changing and the parenting challenges are also evolving fast. After seeing the little Pretty Nicole being beaten up in a viral video and later finding that she had been twerking on the social platform TikTok at the declared tender age of 14, many were shocked. However, revelations like this are clear evidence that we have turned a parenting corner.

Forget everything you thought you knew about raising children. 14-year-olds are now coveting iPhones and God help you if they fall into bad influence and start running after older men and women to make their dreams come true. You may find yourself crying very publicly on Twitter as your child is dragged from a bar or is suddenly at the centre of a nasty fight.  When your children run into trouble, you will not only have to repent very publicly for your failings and their mistakes,  you will have  to invest your old age or what would have been your retirement into fixing their errors or paying for the damage they will inevitably cause in the community.

This column does not offer any one-size-fits-all solutions on parenting. Consider it a road sign warning you about the ‘Humps Ahead’. Some parents used to believe that if things got hectic at work and at home, they could cart the children off to school and they would be safe there. News Flash! Bad things can happen at some schools too, on the watch of those teachers you trust. Bad things can happen at home, right under your nose. Bad things happen at church and everywhere in between.
The other day, I watched a video where we were advised that parents are shepherds as opposed to engineers. As you can see, the whole thing is a tough balancing act. On the one hand, you want to leave them enough legroom to explore and grow. You do not completely want to stifle the curious beings. On the other hand, you know all the ugly stuff that happens in the big, bad world and you don’t want them landing in the traps that the world sets for the unsuspecting.

Sometimes parenting can feel like a job in which there is no winning, especially so in these times. There is hope though, we are told. Keep your children close, they say. Pay attention and listen to what the children are saying, I heard a pastor advise the other day. There is age-old wisdom in the Holy Books on how to raise children. Do the best you can and do it early. Experience has shown that it is very hard to correct children when they are already grown. Teach them well while they are still young and do your best to keep them away from predators.

Technology is here to stay but as with everything, moderation is key. Once you have given the children all that is within your capacity as a parent, set them free and hope that they will remember everything you taught them. That is all a parent can do. My mother could not stop me from leaving the house. She said farewell and hoped that I wouldn’t end up in the company of drug dealers or people who would chop me over a man. 


Ms Nampewo is a writer, editor and communications consultant